What do you call ten black men running down the street? A race.

A man walks into a store and asks for a loaf of bread.

how much wood could a wood chuck chuck? 3

Why did the koala bear fall out of the tree? Because it's dead.

How can you kill a blonde? Hack her to bits.

why was the panda sent to prison? he played a major roll in the bombing of 9-11

What did the little boy get for Christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish.

what did the 35 year old man say when he walked in his home last night? Nothing, he started crying because he saw that someone had viciously killed his guinea pig.

Why did Cody sit in the corner? Because his daddy didn't love him. #DaddyDoesn'tLoveYouAnymoreChair

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor.

Eating chicken off a baby's ass

Drunk guy... Hey i just maybe And this is number But here's my crazy So call me met you

What did the prisoner receive on his 44th birthday? Well obviously all mail in prisons is checked, but nothing dangerous was found. He received a book on different types of steam engines (he is a railway fan), some chocolate (galaxy caramel, which is his favourite), a crossword challenge book (he gets bored in his cell) and the anti joke book.

What's the difference between a duck? An armchair, because a vest has no sleeves.

How do you kill a blonde woman? Stab her in the stomach so all the acidic contents of her stomach slowly burn her flesh.

Why did the Calculus teacher give an Asian student an F on a test? Because he got less than 60% of the answers correct.

What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

Q1:Why was the homeless man homeless? A1:He suffered from a series of mentally disabilitating diseases. From a young age these disabilities went unnoticed and untreated. They evolved to a level in which he believes he is god, therefore he throws fescues at passing automobiles. Q2:Why does the homeless man throw poo at cars? A2:See answer 1

Roses are red, Violets are blue, get in my bed so i can fu** you!

Why a warm-harted man turned into cold-blooded? He's dead

Wanna here a joke? Womens rights

A 55-year-old white man's car is broken, so he decides to take a bus to work that morning. His bus arrives and he gets on. Then he notices the driver's a woman. He pays for his ticket, takes a seat by the window and in about an hour he gets to his office.

What is marios favorite type of jeans? a brand that he enjoys and feels is comfortable in

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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