Q: What race was Jesus Christ? A: None, he's not real

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what happens when you throw a green rock into the red sea? -- it gets wet

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want to hear a joke? then go ask someone else i dont know any.

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Why did the boy throw his clock out the window? He was furious because it was the fourth time that week that it failed to wake him up for school, and he was going to be late again.

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Two men are stranded in a structure on an alien planet, they are frightened when they are told that there is evidence of a life form near them, they explore their surroundings and find a snake-like creature that flares what looks like wings, bites one of the men on the hand and wraps its tail around his arm squeezing it until the arm breaks (we see the bone poke through his sleeve and he screams); the creature slithers up his sleeve, into his mask and lunges into his mouth killing him, and the other man is sprayed on the mask with acid and we see the plastic of the mask melt onto his face.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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A Priest, a Rabbi and an Imam all get on the same flight. About half-way through an engine begins to smoke and stutters to a halt. Fortunately, the pilot has been trained for these situations and lands the aircraft safely.

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Why did the dog run away from home? Because the owner left the door open.

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An egg and a sausage walk into a bar, and the barman says "sorry, we don't serve breakfast".

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Hey Jay, did you here the one about the 3 hookers at the bar? Jay didn't reply because he was deaf

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What do you do when a taco eater gives you guacamole? Thank him, and politely smash it in the face of the nearest trashy tourist.

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What made people stop likeing Ice tea? Ice-T

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what is funnier then this joke? A jewish muslim that is asian, balck, and mexican,and is woomen crossing the border then geting shot and hung by a rope of dead babies

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What did the redneck say about his missing tractor? Where's my tators.

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Is that a banana in your pocket? As a matter of fact, yes it is.

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Knock Knock Who's There Your doctor... You have Aids

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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H o m o comes out as homo

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What rhymes with Hitler? Walt Disney.

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an average-looking woman walks into a bar. nobody really notices.

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Why couldn't the ten-year-old get into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-13

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An Irishman, an American, an Australian, a Chinese man, a Turk, a Brazillian, a Canadian, a Jew, an African, a German, a Mexican, a Norweigian, a Swede, a Spaniard, a Russian and an Indian walk into a bar.

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A horse walks into a bar. "Why the long face?" the bartender asks. The horse kills everyone in the bar and stampedes the other horses into town.

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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