How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Why has Bugs Bunny got big ears? Because he's a rabbit

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Your momma's so fat: She feels excluded by mainstream clothing outlets.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?... To get to the other side.

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whats brown and has a head? A: my penis

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How did you feel after smoking that joint? I felt like going to pass out And then? I passed out

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Get off my porch.

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What did little Mindy Granger find on her paper route? Human teeth.

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Why did the girl get robbed? Because her door was unlocked.

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Why couldn't Harry Potter get a job at Mc Donalds? Because he isn't real.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

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Why was the jewish boy sad? He had no friends.

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What do you call a man with an Eye patch and no arms? Names.

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What caused the Berlin Wall to come down? Gravity

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Pizza guy. Just a minute, I have to grab my wallet.

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What worse than rain Osama Bin Laden

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Where did Sally go in the bombing? Everywhere

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i have a christmas tree.

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Knock Knock… Who is there? Orange. Orange Who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana? Actually I really wish you did, because I am Hypokalemic and am about to die you asshole.

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A priest and rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender was incredibly biased towards religion and had the rabbi removed.

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Your momma's so fat; She has a constant sense of insecurity due to the instability in her relationships caused by her involuntary obesity.

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Friends are like trees. If you hit them with an axe enough times, they'll fall over.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Q: What do you call a grammatically incorrect horse? A: An horse

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops