Why was Jimmy sad? Because he has a frog stapled to his forehead

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roses are red, violets are blue, tom cruise is gay

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What do Tiger Woods and Charlie Sheen have in common? They are both celebrities.

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What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? They are both purple except for the rabbit.

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Yo mamma so poor she got a job.

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A duck walks into a bar and says, "Have you got any grapes?" The bartender replies "No." The duck then leaves but returns the next day and again asks, "Have you got any grapes?" And again the bartender answers, "No." This happens again the next day and in annoyance the bartender yells, "If you come in tomorrow and ask if I have any grapes, then I will nail your feet to the floor!" The next day the duck came into the bar and asked, "Have you got any nails?" to which the bartender replied, "Yes." The duck then walked out of the bar

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jumping jelly beans theirs a snake in my booties,, ooooooo har har ya ya youve got that one thing baby peace love and applesauce baby!!!!1

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So let's pretend two men that had been friends for a very long time, one man asks the other man how he is, so the man tells the other man how he is doing. Then that man asks the other man how he is doing. The two men were engaged in a very interesting conversation. What did the men do next? Nothing. We're pretending, remember?

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What happens when Chuck Norris and Mr. T get into a car accident? They trade insurance information.

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What do you get if you cross a canine and a sheep? A Sheepdog. What do you get if you cross a cat and a dog? You fucking stupid? It cant be done!

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How do u kill a black man You don't or else u will get intouble for murder but u can if u want there r many ways

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What do you call the child of a black male and an asian female? A child of mixed ethnicities.

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What did the white boy say to the black boy? You're black

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What did the nerd say to his friend regarding the test they had just taken? - Nothing, he doesn't have any friends.

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John: Hey Pablo why are you standing outside Home Depot. Pablo: Because I work here.

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It's like they always say, you get what you pay for. Unless your a woman, then you get what other men pay for.

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why did the the chicken cross the road? because some sad,board people wanted to make a joke

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Knock, Knock ...

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How do you kill a woman? Let her drive

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Now I have been typing without even thinking about that, and you have been following me.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, if you had a pulmonary embolism, you would be too

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Why did the kid need glasses? A monkey threw a fridge at him.

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why didnt Timmy get anything for Christmas?His mom told santa he was very naughty that year

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What did the kid with no arms get for his birthday? A sock puppet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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