Why couldn't the guy find his pants? Because his girlfriend stole them last night

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whats worse than Brussels sprouts brussels sprouts that has petite vegetation, lack of sun causing mold and placed in a septic tank.

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What's the difference between a duck and a goose? They're two completely different water fowl.

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Husband: Shut up, there is now playing for Real Madrid Woman: So what? come help me clean. Husband:after the game,now shut up. Woman:Everyone knows Barcelona better... Police: So you're saying your wife fell on the knife alone?

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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Q: Whats better than 10 baby's nailed to 1 tree. A: 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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knock knock who's there? refelection reflection who? reflection in the mirror, it's you -lINDz@Y $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ s/0 to my B0oFrand J0rdan MiLaRR

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What happened to the guy that fell off the building? He hit the ground

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A blonde tries to kill herself cutting both her wrists.Why didn't it work? Because her boyfriend found her just in time and managed to stop the bleeding and took her to the hospital. After some years of therapy they got married and lived happy together for the rest of their lifes.

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What did the cow say to the bull. they had kids because they shared an interest in being silent.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Funding a half worm in your apple because you just ate half of a worm!

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You

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When does the narwhal bacon? When the universe looses its realism to the point where every animals' meat is bacon at a certain time, and a person hunts a narwhal at the crack of dawn when there is a triple rainbow and the narwhal's DNA is combined with a pig's just long enough for the meat to be bacon when the person shoots it.

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How come the black man couldn't be seen on film? He could be seen on film, he's not a vampire.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Shes been dead for some time now.

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What do you call a black man in space? an astronaut

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Why did Doris have no control over her bladder? Because she was old and suffered catastrophic incontinence

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a short man asked a tall man "hey hows the weather up there"? the tall man couldnt answer cause he was sucked up by a tornado that missed the short man

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What's big, wet and hairy? Not what you think it is.

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Q: How mature are you on a scale of 1 to 100? A: 69. :)

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What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handle bars except for the duck

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Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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PENIS THAT IS ALL!

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Knock Knock Who's there? Orange Oranges don't talk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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