Q: What's the meaning of life? A: Look in a Dictionary.

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What's the difference between a joke and an anti-joke? I don't know man, but you touch yourself at night.

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's actually much safer to look through the peep hole than it is to let a stranger know you are home.

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Your mama is so fat that when she walks her legs rub against each other

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Did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? No? Don't worry, he didn't either

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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I have no soul so I must consume yours

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What is a vampires favorite desert? Vampires aren't real.

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Q. What is the difference between a bird and a fly? A. A bird can fly, but a fly can't.

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What do you call a gardener in Mexico? Un Jardinero.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last night I came home to find my entire family murdered....

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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What did the midget say to the clown that was blocking the doorway? Excuse me

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Robin- Hey, Batman, can i drive tonight? Batman- Eat my left dick Robin- OK, Batman, but can i still ... mmuupfm fmuupmf... I suppose that means no... mmmupf mmfupfmpfmum...

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A little boy asked his mom what fucking was, so she showed him.

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Why did the Turkey cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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Knock, Knock Whose there? your friend Oh ok (opens the door) (it was not his friend but instead it was a giant panda who robbed him of his goods).

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A man stumbles across a magic lamp. He doesn't believe in genies, so he sells it for profit on the antiquarian market.

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What's 7+7? 14 you dumbass

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How did the ship-less pirate cross the Atlantic? In an airplane.

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What did Christopher Columbus say to his men before they got on the ship? "Men, get on the ship."

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How do you keep a black guy out of your backyard? You tell him "STAY OUT"

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What did the alien discuss with the other alien? Something we discussed.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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