"What would you do if i gave you a million dollars?" "I would scream and jump up and down? Are you really gonna give me a million dollars?" "No i just wanted to see what you would have said, that's all"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was in a cage being carried by a farmer.

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It wa Jerry's first day of kindergarten He pulled out a .44 magnum and shot himself under the chin where he was instantly dead... Yes, dead

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The king asked the jester why was he not telling jokes. He wasn't because he's a jester and therefore is obligated to be funny.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Max

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How many Frenchmen does it take to surrender? Probably just one.

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Once upon a time, I farted They believe this now as the "Big Bang"

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Why couldn't the prostitute give a proper blow job..... She had no lips

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whats worse then having sex with a blonde? having sex with a cactus

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being raped by your uncle

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Why did the Skyrim guard stop adventuring? He was killed in action and his family misses him terribly.

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What did God say when he saw the first black man? What a wonderful creation I have made.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, so is my face, I'm constipated

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How do you get money out of a Jew? You convince him your cause is worthwhile.

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Roses are red My name is Dave This makes no sense Microwave

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? The Pilot. You racist bastard.

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind, black kid get for Christmas? Modern Warfare 3.

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whats the only concert you can get into for 45 cents? a 50 cent concert featuring Nickelback

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What's similar between my butthole and shampoo? They both smell good, except for by butthole.

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What's worse than going in the wrong direkshun? ...My spelling

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Your mother is so white that when she goes to the beach she has to wear sunscrean to avoid being badly sun burned.

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A man goes to an amusement park. He heads straight for the roller-coaster and gets in line. When he gets to the front, the ride operator informs him that he is too short to ride. "You must be at least 48 inches, sir, you just barely miss the mark, I'm sorry, I can't let you ride." The man is sad, but he doesn't let this little discrepancy ruin his day. He then gets in line for a different ride.

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What mouse walks on 2 legs, Micky mouse. What duck walks on 2 legs, All ducks you dip shit.

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What looks like a chair but isn't? A picture of a chair.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops