Why did the homeless man get a house key cut? He didn't he's homeless.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 is bigger.

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a cat and a duck walk into a pub. the cat enters first and says for the duck to put all of their drinks on his bill. the duck(being a duck)says nothing because ducks cannot speak. therefore the cat shouldnt have been speaking either.

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Do you speak alien? Hola.

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A black guy, a Mexican, an Arab and a white guy walk into a room and embrace cultural diversity.

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Why did the world not end in 2012? Because the Mayans were drunks.

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man: hey whats that in the corner? Bartender: thatssteve his wife left him and he is trying to drown his saddness is addiction.

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Anti-jokes are funny.

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In soviet russia, 6 is not afraid of 7

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What did the clam say to the scuba diver? FUCK MAN! STOP TOUCHING MY JEWELS! WOULD YOU WANT ME TO JUST RIP YOURS AND TAKE THEM WITH ME!

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I like the way he thinks. Too bad he has alzheimers.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

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How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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How many black guys does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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Why does Jordan Abu aita have a small pepe? Because he is black

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Your future.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Captchas.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says "Hey, we named a drink after you!". The grasshopper says "What, Dave?"

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Why did the boy rip out all of his hair? He was insane.

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What would Jesus do? Do? You mean like do it? You have a dirty mind.

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Q: what did a kid in harlem get for christmas? A: nothing he got shot

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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