Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk.

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why did the chicken cross the road because he wanted AIDS

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Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

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please ignore the bottom two 'jokes' as they were written by josh carey and ryan danielz

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You can go out to eat without posting it on Facebook.

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Bill gates walked into a store and farted. It stunk up the entire place and the employees were mad. But it was their fault for not having windows.

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No Nero, you see, a great man once told me that happiness is not something you look for and eventually find, but something that you decide that you already are.

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whats the difference between a mexican and a fish? one is a human being while the other is a fish, what did you expect?

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two snow men standing in a field and one says to the other can you smell carrots

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How do you blind a Chinese man You put a blind fold on him

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Roses are red violets are blue. A face like yours belongs in the zoo! But don't you worry I'll be there too! But not in the Ill be laughing at you

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A Mexican man is sitting in his mansion.

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Why cant Michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? because he is dying of parkinson's disease.

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What do you call a sleeping bull? Don't call him anything and back away slowly.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ted. Come in.

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What's funnier than diarrhoea? Cancer What's funnier than cancer? The holocaust

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Fat people

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roses are red, violets are blue, dandelions are yellow, tulips are pink, sunflowers are black and yellow, my dick is 13 inches long.

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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Democracy.

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A man walked into doctors and said, “Doctor help! My arms have stopped working” to which the receptionist replied, “I’m not the doctor and you need to make an appointment.”

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What happens when you step on Jupiter? You cannot.

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What did Tyrone Jenkins say when Obama was elected? Nothing. He is not a real person, but merely a hypothetically existent man used only for the portrayal of a lacking punchline.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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