What's brown and sticky? The faeces of a glue stick.

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It's about 3 days from Mother's Day. What do you get her? Nothing. Nothing is a very powerful thing. hehe thats what she said.

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Not at all Nero, if humanity itself where better, you would never have had that pain you rather than carry seems to be stuck to you, what you call your armor, sounds more like a cage to me, it is no wonder that you lose faith in those that drag you down while you find peace and hope within yourself by helping them. I believe you got every right to lose hope in humanity at times, in my eyes you have always been much greater than them, you just seem to believe that if you fail at helping others, then you have failed yourself, remember that there are too many people that surrender in this world, that do not want to be helped back on their own feet rather than to be "shown the only way", you said it yourself, monkey see, monkey do is easy, too easy, and you never take the easy way. I am sorry if I copy your methods too much, it might seem to others as if you are chatting with yourself, which is just crazy, insane. silly, lets just say again that you just got a admirer in me, it cant be helped. Does this bother you?

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Whats the difference imbetween a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to hit with a sledge hammer an the other is a watermelon

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What did one wall say to the other? Nothing. Walls can't talk.

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Whats green, lies in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs? A girl scout that got hit by a car

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar. Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece?

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How many chairs does it take to screw a lightbulb? One, if you have enough lube.

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So two Penn State administrators walk into a butt.

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Why did the boy not turn in his homework? Because his pet ate it.

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Roses are Red You're Black and Blue My fists seemed to have taken A liking to you

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What do you call an 8 year-old with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor

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What did the one bagpiper say to the other? Nothing, one cannot speak while playing the bagpipes.

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Why is it that we don't eat clowns? Because in most Western countries cannibalism is illegal.

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Q: Why's everyone afraid of Friday the 13th? A: Justin Bieber's movie comes out.

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Why was Jimmy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his forehead.

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whats small and tickles? pubic lice

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what do the Holocaust and Jeff Dunham have in common? they're both hilarious

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What starts with "m" and rhymes with monkey? Platypus

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A blond walks into McDonalds. She orders and leaves.

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What's 2+2? Gonorrhoea

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A man with Down's Syndrome walks into bar. Bartender asks, "why the long face?"

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TOBUSCUS

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what did the bot get for his birthday? .. men!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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