April showers bring may flowers, may flowers bring pilgrims, pilgrims bring diseases, diseases bring death, death brings... Well it's just death.

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Why doesn't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No, he hasn't either

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The chicken hesitated to cross the road. It pondered endlessly on the ramifications of not crossing the road, the future jokes that would never have been made. So it crossed the road with no real purpose for others to come up with unique ideas. Just kidding there is no proof that chickens have ever existed. There is proof that Barack Obama is a woman, however.

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How many Polish people does it take to screw in a light bulb? My dad is dead.

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Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin says "oh my god were going to die!" The other says "Holy shit a talking muffin!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know your mother is a skank.

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Dislike if you shag sheep ;)

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I've got a fever and the only cure is ibuprofen.

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What's the difference between dead babies and ferraris? I don't have 17 ferraris in my garage.

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I like my women like I like my coffee. Without a penis.

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Why did the black man get the grape soda? It was the only soda left.

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Bob fell off his roof.

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How many hamburgers can a grizzly bear eat? Maybe 6.

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Penis.

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Why did the boy dress up as a zombie? Because it was Halloween.

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A homeless man comes home from work.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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Where was Sally when the bomb exploded? Everywhere.

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whats black and looks like a bucket a black bucket

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What's black, white and red all over? A zebra carcass

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It's a bird! No it's a plane! No you idiots, it's only a cloud.

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4 is half the number 8 is.

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How do you get rid of a stalker? You throw a fridge at them!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops