why doesnt bally lifeguard he isnt qualified

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Why was the manspenis big Cause he was a lucky bastard

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How did the man with no arms or legs cross the street? He didn't.

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Two cats were in a bathtub. They both, however, were uneasy the whole time, as it is common sense to know that cats do not like being in water.

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A man rode into town on Friday and stayed a while and then left on Friday how did he manage this?

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Matt is not funny.

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PLEASE DONT READ THIS OR YOU'LL BE DIED IF YOU DON'T POST MESSAGE ON LIKE DIFFERENT VIDEO

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Q: What do you call a black person with one leg? A: In modern American society, it is proper etiquette to adress somebody by their first name.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and he wanted to die with his body completely attached.

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whats da difference between a black people and grass. there both black except for the grass.

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Knock Knock Who's there? St. Judes St.Judes who ? St.Judes Research Hospital calling. Give me money, I've got cancer kids dying

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KASEEM IS CRAP AT GEARS OF WAR THIS IS NOT A JOKE ITS TRUE (FACT) PLAYSTATION IS BETTER THEN XBOX (BIGGEST JOKE EVER) IV HAD BOTH, SO SHUT UP PS3 BOYS AKA GIRLS

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what did the black man eat for dinner? whatever his wife makes for him to eat

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what do you find at the top of mountains? things

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"I see," said the blind man to the deaf man.

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Knock knock. Whose there? Not my house so not my problem. Frankly, I don't give a shit.

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what did the apathetic person say? Who Cares?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, he got hit by a bus.

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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You know what's bad? Running over a baby with a truck. You know what's worse? Skidding on it.

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knock knock who's there Scott, Scott who, Scott Rollheiser stole my joke and posted it here.

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How much money did the pirate pay for his ear to get pierced? Nothing, given that he is a pirate. It was probably done at gunpoint.

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you know whats funny the letter Q

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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