why doesnt bally lifeguard he isnt qualified

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What did the kid say to the ginger? You're gay.

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What clicks when its out of lead ? A gun Why was the little black boy crying ? He ran out of that grape drank How do you make a dead baby float ? You take your foot of its head How do you know when your life is over ? When you start watching Twilight What is blue and sticky ? Blue Stick What do you get when you mix a dog and a cat ? Shit

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How did the man with no arms or legs cross the street? He didn't.

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What is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant scorpion

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I slipped and fell in the shower today. Good thing my dad caught me

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whats worse than dying alone? dying with a boner.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The bartender is institutionalized for paranoid schizophrenia.

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Trashcan!

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A Tatooine moisture farmer, an old man, an astromech droid, and a potocol droid walk into a cantina at Mos Eisley Space Port. The bartender says, "Hey, we don't serve their kind here! Your droids will have to wait outside." The moisture farmer then says to his droids, "Why don't you wait out by the speeder, we don't want any trouble." The protocol droid replies, "I heartily agree, sir."

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A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to the hospital for his concussion, seeing as the bar was made of metal

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? What's up. What's up who? The sky.

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Why was the manspenis big Cause he was a lucky bastard

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their were 2 muffins. one said hello how are you. the other screamed "A TALKING MUFFIN"

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There where ducks sitting in the bath One Duck truns to the other an says "could you pass me the soap" The other duck truns and replies "dont call me toast"

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers The middle one is for you

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ring ring young man: dad? mom's dead? woman: i think you dialed the wrong number young man: .......oh im sorry, you're absolutely right, silly me! woman: don't worry about it. young man: (chuckles) click

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Why did the kitchen cross the road?

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what did the black man eat for dinner? whatever his wife makes for him to eat

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The BCS

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What do Jews always complain & want money for? Anything

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what do you find at the top of mountains? things

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"I see," said the blind man to the deaf man.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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