There is a new film coming out, it is a re-make of "Fatal Attraction" The only difference is, it is about two tonnes of antimatter... [L]

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When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he does it the same way everybody else does.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Being cut in half by a human while you were trying to eat an apple

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Poop swing

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(This is a joke made up by the young son of a friend of mine many years ago. It is still one of my favorite jokes.) Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses? Because they often have to interact with violent and distrustful criminals.

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No.

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What did the black man say about Linkin Park? That there's obviously a rapist in their midst and they should all be questioned.

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Why can't a Tyrannosaurus-Rex clap? It's Dead.

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theres a mexican women and a black man in a car....whos driving? nobody sadly the driver was shot.

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Why did the terrorist miss the flight he was supposed to blow up? He forgot his passport.

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heyy emit chase wazzup

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Sure, if my waifu aproves, hell, the more the hornier. CONDOMS? ARE YOU INSANE? CONDOMS ARE FOR PUSSIES... ..:WHIIIIIICH sorta makes sense so okay, my for a moment I thought you where not gonna go trough with this... Nah just kidding, I already got you, now if you want to break free I am gonna be like "MEH!" So, uh, you shaven or not? Please dont be "trimmed", sometimes it just looks like a pussy with a mustachio, thats bullshit.

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Why did the women knock on the door? she needed to do a shit

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A man walks into a bar. He backs up, unwraps it, and enjoys its chocolatey deliciousness.

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u jelly?

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How many dead babies does it take to paint the side of a building? I don't know, it depends on how hard you throw them.

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Q: What do you call a grammatically incorrect horse? A: An horse

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Q: what's the difference between a human and a gorilla? A: they can both talk, apart from the gorilla

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Whats worse than malaria? Dying from it.

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There is a cat with a collar animal control takes of the coller and and says who cares it's not Our fault there cat is an outdoor cat the girl who lost her cat was crying all year long spending all her money wishing for her cat back and wishing that there was no such thing as animal control That girl was me and I'm against animal control

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Q- Who is the life of the party? A- hannah schane

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Two fish are swimming and hit a cement wall. One fish says Dam.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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