Why didn't the boy get any presents for christmas? There is no Santa Claus.

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^that joke's not funny

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Knock Knock! Hmm. I'm not expecting anyone. It's probably just a telemarketer, and I'm not very interested in purchasing anything at the moment. I won't answer it.

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why was the little girl afraid of the dark because she was brutally raped in the dark when she was 4.

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how Sudan answered England when England's ambassador eaten by Sudanese people? Eat ours

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knock knock. who's there thatsron thatsron who thatsron man

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Where does a homeless person live? No where

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How many Polish people does it take to screw in a light bulb? My dad is dead.

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. Everyone is amazed because he can now walk.

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How many rednecks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Three.

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What do old people really like? Anal sex.

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Why do I staple a mans mouth to his penis. Because I wanted to

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Q: Why didn't the Government help the poor little boy? A: Because he was taking a test and that would be cheating.

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A black man and a white man were both pulled over for street racing. They both were also found to be drunk driving. Only the black man was arrested. It turns out the black man had just massacred an entire Amish village before going street racing to celebrate.

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An Asian child flunks a test.

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Why did the black man get the grape soda? It was the only soda left.

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Ask me if I'm a flower. Are you a flower? No.

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How do you get Pikachu on a bus? Hide him under your coat.

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whats the difference between a mexican and a black person? They have different skin colors.

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Whats worse than dying? Nothing, really.

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Why did the baker have brown hands: Because he was black

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Why did the girl die? She read Twililght

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What did the boy get for creating a fantastic AntiJoke? Leukemia

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IF YOU ARE A GUY: Think about a really hot girl. She has the perfect chest, amazing face, blonde hair, and looks flat out stunning. She takes off her shirt which is very appealing and causes for you to get excited because you might get lucky. She takes off her pants, or skirt depending on the choice that you decided upon when imagining this girl, and is walking towards you in nothing but a bra and panties. She continues to take off her bra and gets on top of you. You passionately kiss and afterwords she whispers in your ear, "are you ready for some of this?" you nod your head and she proceeds to remove her panties. Let's freeze this situation for a moment. Assuming that you would ever be in a situation like that there has to be a catch right? A hidden camera, her husband comes home, a rabbid zombie crashes through the door...something. I am happy to tell you that there are no worries about this because nothing will stop you from making sweet and beautiful love to this woman. So let's get back to the scenario. You not your head and quickly tear off your clothes and begin exploring her body. Now turn her 64 and give her a penis with an amazing amount of pubic hair, make her fat, and submit to this manlady. You ask how this happened? Earlier that evening you took a particularly large amound of LSD, or acid if you prefer, and began tripping out. You began seeing ugly people as hot people, and hot people as ugly people. Your friends were concerned because you were hitting on a tree and started humping it at which you were removed from the party by your date who just so happened to be a fat and ugly hermaphrodite who repeatedly raped you and made you cry in submition to her kinky tactics. Drugs are bad, but they make for interesting stories for your friends to tell their children when they get older at your expense.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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