Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he happened to be walking in that general direction.

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What is the difference between a joke, and an antijoke? A joke is actually funny.

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What did Batman say to his parents? Nothing. They're dead. Idiot.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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I believe that as long as we do not change, as we decide to believe in ourselves and use our strength and potential, all that is left, is to see which side fate favors. Maybe we are meant to survive trough our strength and belief in ourselves and each other, or maybe we are, or will eventually end up as the last people of our kind, and fade away from life, proving that those that trust in the corrupt, where better than us. Suddenly I feel so alone.

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a black man and a squirrel get hit on two different roads what's the difference? well for starters theyre two different species. a squirrel is much smaller than a human and has his own mark on society. the man will be missed dearly by his family and if the impact with the car wasnt bad, he may have a chance to make it out alive at the hospital. the squirrel however is not so lucky. it will be left to die on the street or would have died on impact already with sadly no squirrel hospital to tend to it.

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Why did the boy dress up as a zombie? Because it was Halloween.

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Whats green has four legs and would kill you if it fell from a tree. Pool Table.....

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what did the dog do when he saw the flea?he ate it because he didn't know what would happen next

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being shot repeatedly in the chest.

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what do you do when a baby screams? shake it.

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What would be the consequence of a terrorist detonating a 500 kT nuclear bomb in Manhattan? A ridiculous question. All enriched uranium in Pakistan is safe and out of reach of terrorists, their govt. has assured. Please ask about realistic scenarios next time.

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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How do you become thinner in a week? Stand in front of a Bulldozer.

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What do you call children with no arms or legs ...their names

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? He had heard from a mutual friend that his ex-girlfriend, who he had recently broken up with, would be present at the same party and to avoid an awkward encounter he chose not to go.

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Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? No.

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An Irishman walked out of a bar. A Frenchman was polite. An Englishman had beautiful teeth.

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I don't know what I've been told I'm a refrigerator

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Why was the black man eating a banana? Because bananas are an excellent source of potassium.

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What do Micheal Jackson and Niel Armstrong have in common? Armstrong did the earthwalk on the moon and Jackson F#$%ed little boys in the butt.

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You should periodically review the most up-to-date version of the Terms of Service. Oh you.

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What do you call a black man that goes to college? A student..

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An elephant and a llama walk into a bar. Realizing that they must have broken out of the local zoo, all of the people run out of the bar screaming.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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