Have you heard about the new German microwave? It's a great labour-saving appliance that cooks food much more quickly than a conventional oven

A sheep walks into a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

why did the girl cross the road ? to get run over by a flee of running cows

If a rooster lays a brown egg on the south side of an Asian man's roof, which way would I turn at the intersection? Folderol, because laundry has no soul.

How does a black guy who murdered his wife get out of jail? He serves his sentence and is allowed to return back home.

What do you call a blonde on the Moon? That depends on what her name is.

HEY EVERYONE THUMBS UP!

A man walks into a bar. - - - - - - - - -

It was a stormy night and a stinking boy was running away from the co-op, he was clutching onto his pocket and constantly looked over his shoulder.... panting the boy reaches for a rusty door handle he opens the door quickly and shuts it behind him. "mam i got tea" said the boy "thanks david we will eat tonight for once" said a big chinned pharaoh.

An Asian child flunks a test.

A: Knock Knock. B:Who's there? A: The IRS and Child Protective Services

Knock-Knock who's there? Artichoke Artichoke who? Your friend Artie choked on a ham sandwich, and I'm sorry to inform you that he didn't survive.

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody, because first, pineapples are too small to fit in, and second, you would drown.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had an appointment with his hair stylist. Just kidding chicken don't have hair.

Izzy and Zayn Malick got married. Then Zayn asked for a divorce due to their age difference..

how Sudan answered England when England's ambassador eaten by Sudanese people? Eat ours

What's worse than death? Nothing.

What's the difference between mustangs and dead babies I don't collect mustangs

I am darkness, soon I shall rule the world, those of you that desire to serve me thumb this up, those of you that desire eternal fear beyond your imagination, thumb me down. Moral: Try thinking of me and thinking "he is crazy", in order to unlock the secrets behind spontaneous human combustion.

Why did Billy fall off the swings? Because he had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Billy.

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Shoes, socks, and mittens.

How do you kill a baby quickly? The better question is why kill a baby quickly?

I enjoy the fact that the jokes I post that do not make me laugh, are the ones that get zero thumbs, while those that at least make me smile, get at least a couple, I admit thought that its hard to keep track with me, I type jokes so fast that they disappear in the back before people can thumb them... Have you heard... Of the dog that was barking up the wrong three? The three said: Damn dog! I am not a tree! The dog kept barking, as dogs do not speak. Moral: Numbers speak fluently in most languages though...

Dislike if you shag sheep ;)

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...