Q: What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? A: They both have handlebars except for the duck!

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There are 100 men enjoying a cruise to celebrate an important contract going through at their place of employment. The boat then suffers a major malfunction and tragically sinks to the bottom of the ocean, miles from any land masses. Not a single man died, how is this possible? They all used the lifeboats supplied on the boat and followed the standard procedure to deal with such a crisis.

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Who is the fiercist Raptor of them all? Matt Daly

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's I have Alzheimer's

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Why are you angry dude? I can't see my forehead

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whats red and looks like a bucket? a red bucket whats blue and looks like a bucket? a red bucket in disguise

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven murdered sixes wife and kids and said he was next.

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What's black, white, and red all over? Half of a dalmatian.

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8====D~~~~~~

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i drive all the time its no big deal open the door and get behind the wheel

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Wanna hear a joke? Justin bieber

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What do you call a person with no legs and an eyepatch? Names.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind.

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Hey, I'm Schrödinger, and this is crazy! But here's a sealed box... the cat lives, maybe...

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the bottom of a pit? Whatever his parents named him.

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What do you tell a Woman with black eyes? Nothing you've already told her twice.

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How many women's right's leaders does it take to change a light bulb? None. They can't change anything.

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Why did the black guy cross the road? Because he needed to get to the store across the street.

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What did little jimmy get for Christmas? A box containing the malevolent soul of a 10,000 year-old demon determined to torment his cat.

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What did the skeleton say to the vampire? Nothing because a skeleton wouldn't have a larynx.

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There were two ducks in a bathtub. One duck says to the other, "Pass me the soap" The other duck replies, "What do i look like, a toaster?"

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What is green and looks like Grass? A painting of grass

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Billy: hey dave, wanna hear a joke? Dave: what? Billy: oh yeah, you are deaf.

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How many mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Trick question they cant afford one.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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