So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man laughs creepily and another man asks him what he's doing he says I have a creepy laugh so the man asks him why he was laughing the man says there's a boy over there that has a frog stapled to his face!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Chuck Norris is so tough, he trained diligently for many years and is now a widely respected martial artist

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock knock Who's there Police

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Someone made a Titanic joke to me today, It was just plane wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Lets go Yankees

thumb_up thumb_down -8

knock, knock! No answer, they probably can't hear you, use the doorbell.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

how do you stop a bus? shout FOR ALLAH!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what do you call a kid without arms and legs? Freak

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the dead person say? Nothing, dead people cant talk, coz they are dead

thumb_up thumb_down -8

your mum

thumb_up thumb_down -8

a chinese wompus came out of the basement.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

-What's the worst part about killing a baby? -Probably either recieving the death sentence or living psychologically scarred in prison for life.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

say cheese

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did Joan of Arc have for her last meal? Steak

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: What's better than the Call Me Maybe video? A: A shot-for-shot parody of it featuring a GIMP! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rFxnAITCv5o

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I have a black man in my family tree... He's still hanging there.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the 5 cent store clerk say to the customer? That will be 5 cents.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Where do you live? In a house

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what did the green grape say to the purple grape? i'm green.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Yeah right loser!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did one Chinese man say to the other? ?????

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Hey Eliz, just a final thought, if and when I die (hey I am your step dad after all, dont forget I am four years older than you now! So ill die first anyway, hopefully) Promise me that you will call me on the phone and either yell SNAKE ANSWER ME SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE! Or BOSS ANSWER ME BOOOOOOOOOOSS! Never mind, I never liked videogames ironically, but hey, its funny, Suddenly this Boss guy shows up, and I feel like I have something in common with someone! A game character anyway, and its a fucking boring game too, just sneaking around, then you got to well pay people to build shit and I shut it off by then... ...Finally the nurses are here... Those guys again, hey guys, I cant speak nor remember what button to press to delete shit, but I heard bogosexuals with an h, dont get the message, you see the man with broken fingers there, go get me female nurses or... They sleeping? And not with me? Okay guys, get me out of here, I am humiliating myself in front of my uh... Frienddaughtersisterthing as for the rest of you fucks, has it ever seemed like I have ever cared about your inferior opinions above my superhuma... I am drun or something huh guys? 60 MG valium? You fucking murderers! Well will that other dru.. Fine then... Nero The End? Seriously flaggots! I cant stop typing, just get me out of this... Wheelchair? When did that happen? Well roll me out then! And please you know, fill that code thing and the terms and all that.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops