what did the green grape say to the purple grape? i'm green.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? The Batmobile only seats one, you'll have to take the bike Boy Wonder.

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Where do you live? In a house

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why is everyone always picking on ruth? because they just do

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What's the difference between a duck? One of it's feet are both yellow.

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What do you call a black astronaut? It depends on what his name is.

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a man walks into a bar. ouch.

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Why did the penguin die? He was anti-social and would rather die than huddle. So he died. THE END

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what is sticky and brown?a stick

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Nippies

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Why can't vegetarians eat mushrooms because I can't urinate over a scotch bonnet :/

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Why did the car cross the road? Green light

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Why did the black man begin to cry when his friend aimed a gun at a watermelon? Because if he were to shoot it would be a waste of perfectly good food.

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Why does Michael j. Fox make the best milkshakes? He uses the finest ingredients

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How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator? You open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. He calls the right number.

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Why couldn't the mexican get a job? He was seven.

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Luck is not real. But the dismembered body in my basement is.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Someone else's.

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I like big butts and I cannot lie. You don't know that. I may enjoy skinny butts. I may be lying.

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A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

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roses aren't red, violets aren't blue, they're all black, cause i'm colorblind. what about you?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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