I just can't stand sitting down!

Why did the man cross the road? Because the light turned green

roses are red, bitches are blue close your damn legs and use a condom too.

What do you call a man named Jimmy? Jimmy

A christian, a Jew, and a muslim walk into a bar. They order their drinks and have a good night because no one knows they are all of different religions.

Knock knock Who's there Interrupting camel (Interrupt with nothing) Camels can't talk.

A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

Why did the Mexican cross the border? He was being deporting because he over stayed his visa and is now an illegal immigrant

why was the pen lonely? because it didn't have a pen pall

How did you know it was bedtime at Michael Jackson's house? When his clock's big hand met the little hand, usually at 10 or 11, though sometimes later if he had a concert that night.

Two guys go hunting and one of them aims the sniper at the other guy's house and says "I see your wife's cheating on you again with another man" he replies "I've had it with her, shoot him in the privates and shoot her in the mouth" the friend says "I'll get that in one shot".

How do you confuse Helen Keller? You don't. She's dead.

boy: you want to hear something funny? girl: what? boy: women's rights girl: you want to hear something trivial? boy: what? girl: your penis

Whats worse than a rotten tomato. a fridge hitting your baby.

Man: Want to hear an anti joke? Woman: ok Man: Why did the the girl fall off her bike? Woman: I don't know. Man: She got hit by a refrigerator. Woman: ok

You are Nerochan right?

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was being taken to the slaughter house

How many Amish people does it take to change a light bulb? None because they don't believe in technology.

Whats worst then listening to you girl friends problems? Nothing.

what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish

A duck walked up to a lemonade stand, and he said to the man running the stand "Quack"! because he's a duck... and that's what ducks do.

Mitt Romney penis

What did the farmer say when he lost his cow? Where's my wife?

Why did the lonely man stop talking? He was alone.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...