Why did the man start crying? Because he lost his job.

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Q: What's sad about seeing a dead twenty year old lying at the corner of a street with a beer bottle in his hand? A: He owed me twenty bucks.

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What did the polar bear say to the penguin? Nothing because polar bears lived in the northern hemisphere and penguins lived in the southern. But if one is smuggled from north to south or vice-versa. The polar would growl and consume the penguin.

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what do you call a cow? A cow

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Why did the man get off the bus? Penis

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Why did the Kek Kick Ben? Cause Ben kicked Kek's Kik. KEKEKEK

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Whats brown and rhymes with Snoop?...... Dr Dre.

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Why did he buy ANTIJOKE THE BOOK! - ? Because he wanted to read it.

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2 men walk into a bar. The first man proceeds to fall on the ground and let out a string of obscenities, obviously in excruciating pain. The second man, fearing that he may have suffered some sort of concussion, immediately goes to his doctor and gets checked out. He is still awaiting results.

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? He had no arms.

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Did you hear about the speed reader on top of the Twin towers? 90 stories 5 seconds.

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What is Justin Bieber + One less lonely girl. A BABY

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What did 6 say to 7? Nothing, numbers are abstract concepts thought up by humans and therefore, they cannot speak or converse in any sort of language.

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whats the difference between a mexican and a black person? They have different skin colors.

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A man walks into a 1980's style restaurant he takes a seat and orders his meal.

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What do you get when you cross and unicorn with a loaf of bread? Cantaloupe

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Why doesn't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead

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What did the cat say to another ? meow

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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Yo mommas so fat they had to change 'one size fits all' to 'one size fits most'

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. Everyone is amazed because he can now walk.

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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Why did the chicken kill itself? To get to the other side.

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I enjoy the fact that the jokes I post that do not make me laugh, are the ones that get zero thumbs, while those that at least make me smile, get at least a couple, I admit thought that its hard to keep track with me, I type jokes so fast that they disappear in the back before people can thumb them... Have you heard... Of the dog that was barking up the wrong three? The three said: Damn dog! I am not a tree! The dog kept barking, as dogs do not speak. Moral: Numbers speak fluently in most languages though...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops