Knock knock Who's There? (It was a ding dong ditch. Or a knock knock ditch. What ever.)

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Why didn't Joe have any friends? Because according to Thomas Hobbes man is anti-social by nature and therefore the only friends that he has are purely to reach his own ends and thus Joe cannot truly have friends in the sense that many use the word.

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What did Batman say to his parents? Nothing. They're dead. Idiot.

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My mumma your mumma live down the street 18,19 marble street out came you and out came me but then your mumma died from her pee

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Justin Littleton's mom accidentally texting him about buying weed, and then offering to buy him ice cream to make up for it.

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Whats tan and jumps higher than a frog? Mexicans..

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In an alternate universe, Jake Sulley's brother did not die. The human race proceeded to strip-mine Pandora of all its mineral wealth, and slaughtered the entire indigenous population.

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What's green and fuzzy and would hurt a lot if it fell out of a tree and hit you? A pool table

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whats the difference between a mexican and a black person? They have different skin colors.

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What does 1+1 equal? 2

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Last Christmas I gave you my heart... but the very next day your body rejected the transplant and you died.

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Like CHUCK NORRIS, CHUCK NORRIS like You !

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What is round and will hurt you if you step on it? The sun

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A sheep walks into a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? He had heard from a mutual friend that his ex-girlfriend, who he had recently broken up with, would be present at the same party and to avoid an awkward encounter he chose not to go.

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Miss Polly had a Dolly who was sick sick sick So she called for the Doctor to come quick quick quick The doctor came with his bag and his hat And he knocked on the door with a rat-tat-tat. He looked at Polly's Dolly and he shook his head. He said she had leprosy and must have all her limbs amputated.

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Why do priest touch children? They are sexually deprived and frustrated because their religion forbids them from having a normal sexual relationship with the opposite sex.

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Apple.

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When there's something weird in your neighborhood, who you gonna call? The police.

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What do you do when a elephant is sitting on your fence? You hit it with a fridge

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ALL OF YOU NO MORE CURSING EVEN THOUGH ITS NOT POSSABLE SO DON'T LISTEN

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What's worse than being a Packer Fan? Walking around with cheese on your hea... oh, wait....

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Whats worse than dying? Nothing, really.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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