what would you do if Michael Jackson was drowning? he can't drown he's already dead

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HEY EVERYONE THUMBS UP!

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I don't know what I've been told I'm a refrigerator

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Ask me if I'm a flower. Are you a flower? No.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

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what did the dog do when he saw the flea?he ate it because he didn't know what would happen next

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being shot repeatedly in the chest.

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What did the boy get for creating a fantastic AntiJoke? Leukemia

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If a rooster lays a brown egg on the south side of an Asian man's roof, which way would I turn at the intersection? Folderol, because laundry has no soul.

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. Everyone is amazed because he can now walk.

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I enjoy the fact that the jokes I post that do not make me laugh, are the ones that get zero thumbs, while those that at least make me smile, get at least a couple, I admit thought that its hard to keep track with me, I type jokes so fast that they disappear in the back before people can thumb them... Have you heard... Of the dog that was barking up the wrong three? The three said: Damn dog! I am not a tree! The dog kept barking, as dogs do not speak. Moral: Numbers speak fluently in most languages though...

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Why am I losing my time writing this joke even knowing that I will get lots of thumbs down?

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A man walks into a bar. - - - - - - - - -

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? He had no arms.

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What did the headless man say? Nothing. The man can't speak because he doesn't have a head.

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It was a stormy night and a stinking boy was running away from the co-op, he was clutching onto his pocket and constantly looked over his shoulder.... panting the boy reaches for a rusty door handle he opens the door quickly and shuts it behind him. "mam i got tea" said the boy "thanks david we will eat tonight for once" said a big chinned pharaoh.

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Friends are like snow: If you piss on them, they disappear.

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What's better than ice cream? Anal sex

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Roberto: Did you watch that WNBA game tonight?!? Will: No Roberto: Me either

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Why Does God Hate Gays? He Doesent, God Does Not Exist.

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Q: What's funny about prostitution? A: Nothing. It's a widely misunderstood profession.

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I'm tired of your blind jokes, I just don't see the humor in them........

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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