Q: Why did the little girl upset? A: Because she was part of the human centipede

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Yo mamas so fat, that I need a new pair of sunglasses.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being shot repeatedly in the chest.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the girl die? She read Twililght

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what did the cat say when he walked into a room full of dogs? Get meowt of here!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's worse than death? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why i Hate people. They are alive. The are breathing. The are near me.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

So theres a priest, a rabbi, and an athiest on a cliff. They all remark at the beautiful view and take plenty of pictures with their respected families.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What the black guy say to the Jew during the blizzard? I think it's snowing.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the black man rob a KFC? He was in a very difficult financial situation and was worried his kids would go homeless. After scouting various locations he found the security at a nearby KFC was non-existent.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

When there's something weird in your neighborhood, who you gonna call? The police.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Barack Obama.

thumb_up thumb_down -111

An Asian child flunks a test.

thumb_up thumb_down +76

What do you call a black man that goes to college? A student..

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had an appointment with his hair stylist. Just kidding chicken don't have hair.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

The man who killed hitler must have ben a swell dude a.w. j.p.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What is green and invisible? This cabbage.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How many black people does it take to change a light bulb. One, of course. Assuming he/she does not have any physical or mental handicaps.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

So I was making this glass of milk right? So I get the milk out. And I get the soup out.. then I go...wait a minute...where'd the glass of soup come into this glass of situations? *smile+awkard pause because nobody will laugh at this=Success of this anti joke...try it*

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: What's sad about seeing a dead twenty year old lying at the corner of a street with a beer bottle in his hand? A: He owed me twenty bucks.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the disabled man fall of the swing, someone shot him.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

ARE YOU READY FOR THE OLDEST ANTIJOKE EVER WRITTEN: HERE IT COMES....... THE MOST ANCIENT OF THEM ALL...... ARE YOU READY?????? HERE WE GO...... Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! THAT'S RIGHT. THIS IS IN FACT AN ANTI JOKE - "...ends with such an anti climax...the lack of punchline is the punchline."

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops