A blind man walks into a bar and a table and a lady....

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When life gives you lemmons Give lemmons Life

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I have a black man in my family tree... He's still hanging there.

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why did the little girl fall off the swing. she had no arms so I pushed her off

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Jamie stegman is a masive idiot and does not have a life at all he is a tool which is true becuase no one likes him

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Whats green and has wheels? A Rednecks front lawn.

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what do you call a black man at a school. coach.

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*Knock knock! "Who's there?" "Jehovah's witness" .....

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What is the difference between a bucket of shit and a Jew? The Bucket.

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What did little jimmy get for Christmas? A box containing the malevolent soul of a 10,000 year-old demon determined to torment his cat.

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Wanna here a good joke? Sure, but you spelled hear wrong.

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who touched the priests sticky hand? Jake Duncan

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IF YOU ARE A GUY: Think about a really hot girl. She has the perfect chest, amazing face, blonde hair, and looks flat out stunning. She takes off her shirt which is very appealing and causes for you to get excited because you might get lucky. She takes off her pants, or skirt depending on the choice that you decided upon when imagining this girl, and is walking towards you in nothing but a bra and panties. She continues to take off her bra and gets on top of you. You passionately kiss and afterwords she whispers in your ear, "are you ready for some of this?" you nod your head and she proceeds to remove her panties. Let's freeze this situation for a moment. Assuming that you would ever be in a situation like that there has to be a catch right? A hidden camera, her husband comes home, a rabbid zombie crashes through the door...something. I am happy to tell you that there are no worries about this because nothing will stop you from making sweet and beautiful love to this woman. So let's get back to the scenario. You not your head and quickly tear off your clothes and begin exploring her body. Now turn her 64 and give her a penis with an amazing amount of pubic hair, make her fat, and submit to this manlady. You ask how this happened? Earlier that evening you took a particularly large amound of LSD, or acid if you prefer, and began tripping out. You began seeing ugly people as hot people, and hot people as ugly people. Your friends were concerned because you were hitting on a tree and started humping it at which you were removed from the party by your date who just so happened to be a fat and ugly hermaphrodite who repeatedly raped you and made you cry in submition to her kinky tactics. Drugs are bad, but they make for interesting stories for your friends to tell their children when they get older at your expense.

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Why do Southern guys go to family reunions? To connect with their loved ones, meet any new additions and share old family stories.

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how do 2 gay guys walk... one pounces into the others butt

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Q: Why is my friend gay? A: Because i slept with him.

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of problems with money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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What did the booger say the other booger? "Is he picking on you again"

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Wanna hear an anti-joke?

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What do you call a black man with a PhD and loving family? A nigger

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Roses are red Violets are blue This poem makes no sense FIRETOE!!!

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I called your friend gay and he hit me with his fist because he was angry at me for using gay in a derogatory way.

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Why did the mother tell her son to get a job. She was tired of buying Generic brand food.

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Q:How many babies does it take to paint a room? A:It depends how hard you throw them

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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