Knock. Knock. Who's there? lettuce lettuce who? Lett-uce be friends

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25

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DESERT

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What's funny about the old man who got stabbed? Nothing... you're a sick person!

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You know what's funny? Lot's of things.

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What is the difference between a dead baby in a blender and a rock? There are many differences. One of them is the fact that I don't masturbate to a rock.

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Why did the black man begin to cry when his friend aimed a gun at a watermelon? Because if he were to shoot it would be a waste of perfectly good food.

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Roused are red violets are blue I just s*** in my own poo

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Q: What do you do when your friend tells you he murdered someone? A: Call the police.

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Why did the car cross the road? Green light

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Why didn't the gangster cross the road? Because he J-walked and was hit by a car.

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Roses are red Violets are blue One fish two fish Red fish blue fish

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Why was the boy rolling down the hill? Cause he's stupid

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your momma is so dumb.. ... because she was a slacker in high school but then turned her life around and is now a respected member of society

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I have a black man in my family tree... He's still hanging there.

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Q: What's better than the Call Me Maybe video? A: A shot-for-shot parody of it featuring a GIMP! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rFxnAITCv5o

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what do you get when you cross an African with a Rhinoceros? A rhinoceros.

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What do democrats and fire have in common? They both do damage

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I love results day! for every A* I get 30 pounds! everything else I cut myself.

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Why did the blonde fail her driving test? She was paralyzed and had down syndrome.

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A black man, a Mexican man and a white man walk into a bank. The black man reaches into his bag and pulls out his bank card, the Mexican and the the white man do the same as they need to withdraw money.

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A zebra dies and goes to animal heaven. All the animals around him are trotting, flying, jumping, each according to its own species, in the kind of bliss that only eternity can bring. But the zebra is not impressed and mopes through heaven's green fields. A giraffe notices his languid stupor and asks, "Why so glum, pal?" The zebra mournfully replies, "All my life I've wondered if I was black with white stripes or white with black stripes." The giraffe, hoping to get the zebra to some answers as quickly as possible, suggests, "Why not go as God?" The zebra, somewhat taken aback by the notion that God might give him an audience, replies, "Oh, I can do that?" The giraffe says, "Sure, I'll show you the way!" The giraffe leads the zebra to a great tabernacle of gold and points the way up a long stairway of diamond. The zebra follows the stairs up to two great ivory doors. But no matter what he tried, the zebra couldn't get the door open. The only animals that could open the door for him would be the primates because of their opposable digits, but the zebra wasn't much of a social animal, so he didn't have any friends. He spent eternity with no answer to his question.

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whats a cross between michael jackson and arnold shwarzanegga? Michaelwasanigga

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Republicans

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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