Two guys walk into a bar. One man walks out of the bar at a similiar time.

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How do you stop a charging rhinocerous? Nuke africa.

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Robocop and T-800 argue over who can run the fastest, Robocop claims he is the fastest, while T-800 says that he is the fastest. To settle things once and for all, they start a race. At first T-800 seems to be leading Then the T-800 is leading by a great distance. moments later the T-800 has a huge lead. But then suddenly, without any warning, the race shifts! T-800 is now leading only by a great distance! Yet in a amazing, and completely unexpected plot-twist. T-800 wins! Moral: :O

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Mary had a little lamb... that's what she gets for having intercourse with the farm animals.

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What's worse than the holocaust? I'm a zebra so what is the holocaust.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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A son went to ask his father about his thoughts on abortion. "Dad, what do you think about abortion?" "Ask your sister." "I don't have a.."

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Q: why do irish people like swimming A: because it's fun

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Whats worse than forgetting some thing at the supermarket? your nuts being nail gunned to the wall.

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Why did the car cross the road? Green light

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what is worse than bitting into your apple and finding a worm? 9/11

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What kind of shots I'd John take at night? Insulin, because he's a diabetic.

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.......ah shit i forgotten the joke

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Nippies

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What are vampires favorite drink? Vampires aren't real.

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Yeah, so I was partially right when I assumed that you joined the feds in order to make sure the past would not repeat itself huh? The underground society never broke a simple rule, a single law, it simple grew from a bunch of dopeheads, to people capable of creating nuclear weapons... Just a matter of speaking of course.

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A horse walks into a convenience store. He grabs a pack of gum, pays the man at the counter, and walks out.

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Your moms so fat She should get some help because there's nothing good about being fat

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Roses are black Violets are black Grass is blac- Oh wait, it's night time. I'll be back in 12 hours.

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What is similar about a goose and newly weds? They both aren't chairs

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Freeza: I am the strongest in the universe! (if you ignore my brother Coola which is much stronger and all...) Goku: You have pissed me off now Freeza, I will now turn into a super Asian and prove to the world that real Asians are actually blonde and blue eyed! (I am sure Goku means Sayans, which is "completely different") Goku: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARG! Freeza: Omg, he... he... is trying to take a dump! IMPOSSIBLE! I will have to find his balls and caress them... Will Goku ever take a shit? Or reach all new levels of constipation during the series? Find out in the next episode of dragon ball z!

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Why can't a blonde woman drive? because she was shot in both legs and cannot operate the pedals without extreme pain.

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this kid named terry was sitting in computer class then he got punched in the face

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What's the difference between you and a mallet with a cold? Ones a sick duck...I forget what I was about to say but your mother is a whore

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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