What did the cop say to the people watching the house fire? All right nothing to see here jokes over

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Roses are white Violets are black I'm colorblind That is sad

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Why did they bury the pope on the side of the hill? Because he is dead

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Why don't women need watches? Because most people carry cell phones that tells them the time making watches redundant and obsolete.

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Joke: What do you call cheese that's not yours? Nacho Cheese! Anti Joke: What do you call cheese that's not yours? Sally's Cheese

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Hey I just met you, and this is Crazy, but I think I Love You, so have my baby! ;)

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Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

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How do you keep a black man out of your back yard? Tell him to go away.

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Cleveland winning something

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Roses are Black. Violets are Green. im going to go cut myself now

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How do you get an Asian man to build you a computer? Pay him a reasonable amount of money

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Why did Paul Walker cross the road? He wasn't wearing his seatbelt.

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You want to know how I know you're gay You want to have sex with a person of the same sex

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Why couldn't the Black man become a surgeon? He was Blind.

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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Q: What's the difference between sheetrock and drywall? A: nothing. It's just two names for the same thing.

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I may have alzheimers...Thank god I dont have alzheimers

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why did u fart to loud? because you butt said so

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A man went to the doctor with a strange complaint. "Well it's like this Doc, when I drive to work in the morning through the country lanes I start to sing 'The green green grass of home'. If I see a cat then it's 'What's new, pussy cat?'. It's so embarrassing, even when I'm asleep and dreaming, I still keep singing. Last night, it was 'Delilah', and my wife was not amused!" "Yes, it would apear that you have the early symptoms of Tom Jones syndrome." "Well I've never heard of that, is it common?" asked the man. "Yes," replied the doctor, "It is very uncommon."

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A blonde girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on the counter. "I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress." she says. "Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear. "I said 'I'LL BE BACK TOMORROW AFTERNOON TO PICK UP MY DRESS'," says the girl, this time louder.

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what's 2 + 2? i don't know that's why i'm asking you

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How do you know that someone is polish ? They smell funny

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What black and white and red all over? A panther I was lying about the red and white.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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