how do you make a plumber cry? you hit him in the face

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's the difference between a wife and a chef? A chef has the choice to leave the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the chicken cross the road? 42

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you get 100 Jews into a car? ...Nevermind, it wouldn't work.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

lol a man is drowning

thumb_up thumb_down -6

wsedrtyujiKFKJKLEFL;LKJRG Blame the economy. Don't hit me, I'm a girl! EQUAL RIGHTS, EQUAL RIGHTS!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the black man say "I been done did that?" He was speaking ebonics.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Find the M: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did Dolley Madison take the painting of George Washington out of the White House in 1814. It was on fire. By, Luke Atkins

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's 21 and pregnant? Ariana Grande

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see, monkey do.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How does a muslim make his parents proud? He gets good grades.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock Knock Whose there? Boo I don't know anyone by the name of Boo. Go away

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why doesn't Rosa Parks eat bacon? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

i once thought i could do crytal meth but then i thought naw better not

thumb_up thumb_down -6

if a man is alone in the forest, and there are no women around to hear him...........is he still wrong?

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q. have you seen stevie wonders last album? A. neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why Was Mary Short? She Had No Legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a dog eating a dead dog? A hungry dog

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Yo momma so fat, she died.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Wanna hear an anti-joke?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the chicken say when it crossed the road? Nothing. Chickens can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

An apple a day keeps a check next to the "I ate an apple today" box on my "what I did today" daily checklist.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops