Why did the kid fall off the swing? He had no legs.

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Q: What happened to the dead baby? A: It was Buried

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why do you care?

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Roses are blue violets are red I think I'm getting drunk get me to my van

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What did John say to Trojan? Hi Trojan

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What is worse than going to school without your homework? Going to school naked without your homework.

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The grass is always greener on the side that uses manure and fertilizer daily.

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? Because he's dead.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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so i walk into a bar the bartender says what do you want i say a beer please he then goes one dear coming up soi thought tomy self should i tell him what i really said so i let him get the dear but for some reason he came out with tears i asked whats a matter he said you let me go to kill a dear

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Why did the women call 911 on her 12 year old son? Because he was schizophrenic and attempting to commit suicide by hanging himself.

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A redhead walks into a hairdressing salon and asks to have her hair dyed black due to being a subject of bullying and social rudeness.

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Have You Ever Seen Stevie Wonder's New House? No.. Neither Has He.

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Flying aboriginal on a magic carpet

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--Knock Knock Who's there? --Banana Banana who? --Knock Knock You just said that --Sorry i have Alzheimer's

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why did the little boy drop his icecream? he was hit by a train

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How do you silence a barking dog? You rip out its vocal cords.

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An asian is driving a car. He observes the speed limit and uses his turning signals while switching lanes.

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Did you hear the joke about the deaf kid? He didn't either.

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What really puts a kick into both my life and the lives of others around me? My leg(s) of which recieves messages from a sophisticated bundle of "wires" in my cranium that enables it to act at all.

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You're so ugly you got rejected from the zoo.

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What's the difference between an orange? A bycicle you fool, a vest doens't have sleeves

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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