a man walks into a bar he got hurt

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Yo momma's so fat that all the children within a close proximity of your home think that your mother is a very large woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Libyans stage a protest. They get massacred.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats worse than being a student? Being raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A guy walks into a bar. He was an alcoholic and it was destroying his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue.. unless you're color blind...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is black, often hung by a rope on a tree, and something white people like to play with? A tire swing.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you get a firetruck to swerve uncontrollably? Shoot the driver with a 12 gauge.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

sdasdadasdasd

thumb_up thumb_down +10

how did the jewish man die He had a fatal hard attack

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man walks into a bar, he has a terrible drinking problem and he is ruining his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

soccor

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is worse than reading an anti-joke relatively similar to the other? Walking in your front yard and realizing a zombie is eating your dead grandmother.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's black and blue and hates anal? The twelve year old in my trunk

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are red,violets are blue, im epileptic sdblkselhvefbed

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats the difference between Lady Gaga and Justin Bieber? Lady Gaga has a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the cat say when you rub it's stomach? Nothing because felines don't have the needed vocal organs to speak, and probaly wouldn't know english do to the size of there brain.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

roses are red violets are blue i have alziemers what are we talking about again

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A black man, a Jew, and a homosexual are at a bar together. They drink for a few hours, during which time they catch up with each other and share stories, as it has been some time since the three of them have seen each other. After they are done drinking, they call a friend, who comes to pick them up and take them home. What a fine example of drinking responsibly.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was the man reading various news articles on the Internet at 2:21 in the morning? Because at that time he could not sleep. Which meant he tried to find something else to fill his time up with.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

"Knock, Knock," a man called out. A child threw open the door and peered out at him. "Why didn't you just knock instead of saying 'knock knock'?" Flustered, the man couldn't come up with an answer, and the child promptly closed the door, locked it, and returned to her previous activities.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Good question, probably because I cannot get enough focus to "put a spell" on anyone because of my allergy, I use "autocast" for the rest. "Put a spell" I have not heard that since I was 14, that's really oldschool, and kinda geeky, back then it was code talk... Which is also geeky unless it actually serves a good purpose. AAAND... I served my mandatory time in the army as a minesweeper, we got attacked by fucking allies because of a... Yeah, I killed, people on our same team, still bad people, they offed about everybody else until I showed up, long story short, yeah I offed four of them, but that's like ten years ago.. My turn, you really got a crush on me dont you?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How many Jews does it take to fix a light bulb? Four, one to take the light bulb out, one to put a new in, one to hold the ladder, and one to hold the guy holding the ladder

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Ever see a man say goodbye to a shoe? Yes, once.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops