A player under the tag "KiTcHeNGuRLxGaMerZ143" got a message after finishing a map on call of duty. "lol ur good."

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What did the blind boy get for Christmas? The same toys from last year.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was DEAD!

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How did the girl get hit by a car? Better question, How did the car get in the kitchen?

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What did Michael Jackson get for Christmas? Nothing he's dead

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0 + 0 = 0

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John Rustenburg at the dinner table

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It died. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure.

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why did the frog cross the road? because he was attached to the duck

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How do you get an Orphan's hands to bleed? Tell them to clap till daddy gets home.

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*Knock Knock *Whos there? *ADD *ADD Who? *I forgot but you wana build a fort.

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees an officer standing on a street corner and a pile of burning rubble behind him. He asks the officer what happened and he replies "A bomb fell from the sky and annihilated the city orphanage. 214 children were killed and two nearby families of 3 and 6 were severely injured and are now in the hospital with no hope of survival." The man was found dead later that week with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head.

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Nicole Ritchie walks into a grocery store.

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A women in her kitchen hears a thud outside. Her husband fell off the roof.

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Greg and Michal once had a fight I lost.

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Why did the hipster burn his mouth? He ate the mac and cheese before it was cool.

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Keep up the fun Nero!

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She said no

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Why couldn't the unicorn fly? It was a horse.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Just kidding! Stephen Hawking doesn't drink.

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Whats the worst part of having a Birthday on Feb. 29th? You only get facebook birthday wishes every 4 years.

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A black guy and a mexican guy are in a car, Who's driving. A policeman.

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Why did the New York Times cancel Otis Redding's subscription? Because he died.

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What do you say when you kill a pregnant lady? Double kill

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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