Do you want to French kiss? What are you, racist

How do you get rid of door knocker? You run at them with a chainsaw.

Get out of the way everybody, a group of elephants are tumbling down the mountain!

What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

What did Obama get at the bar? A shot... In the head.

What made people stop likeing Ice tea? Ice-T

so theres this big moose, and it walks into a convenience store and asks the lady bitch "where are the potatoes?" and she says "ehh, down aisle 5" so he goes down isle five, and there aint no potatoes

A man walked into a pub, and enjoys of a couple off pints. Some time later he loudly asks the gentleman next to him: Do you know about this thing called Fightclub?... The bartender had to call an ambulance, you don't talk about fightclub

Hello Braydon

This is apparently the only way to get to the "under review" section.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had a gun

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Meanwhile, at La'kaneisha's family reunion, they had a great time eating caviar, steamed lobster, and rare bull testicals.

Why did Jesus and his friends get crucified? So they could sing: "Always look at the bright side of life" Moral: Monty Python?

what did God say when He saw a black man? Oops I urnt one.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Obama is a good president, I beg to differ.

The other day, I broke my snare drum.... I still haven't fixed it and am planning on doing so soon.

Why did Old Man Robert fall down the stairs? Someone kicked him down. And then he died.

What did the boy with cancer get for christmas Nothing he didnt live that long

What's the difference between a plumber and a husband? Both fuck the same women when the other is away.

Antijoke the book. Seriously it sucks ass, do not bother, they only included the very worst ones.

A guy walks into the bar and orders a coke with some ice and some peanuts. It cost a total of $4.00 plus tax. He gave the bartender $5.00 and told him to keep the change. He drank the soda pop and burped loudly and left the bar and forgot his peanuts.

Q:Why did the chicken cross the road A:He didn't he was tortured then killed and turned into a sandwich that you can buy for the price of $1.00

Why did the kid eat so much ice cream? Because he wanted to eat ice cream.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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