why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead why did the dog fall out of the tree? because it was attached to the monkey

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What worse than rain Osama Bin Laden

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What do you call two banana's on someone's feet? Garbage.

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Q: how many oxen does it take to row up the empire state building in half of a green canoe under the purple sun while eating a dead moose with no arms? A: Purple, because snakes have no elbows.

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muffled-thud muffled thud who's there? Jeremy Beadle.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I suck at Poetry, show me your Tits.

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Wanna hear a joke? Once upon a time, there was a successful Mexican.

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Justin Bieber is a good singer.

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Little Davie was a kid with no arms and legs and one day his friends Came to his house and knocked on the door and asked for little Davie And asked if he wanted to come play baseball..Little Davie replied "I'd Love to but I have no arms or legs" his friends say we know that..We were Just needing a second base..

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A funny joke: Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpion. What's worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by two giant scorpions

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Michael Jackson walks into a daycare center.

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One man's trash is another dyslexic man's shart.

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A priest and rabbi walk into a bar, they order a few drinks, then call a cab to go home.

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Knock knock Who's there This is the police, open the door. I don't know anybody by that name

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What goes in dry, comes out wet and pleases two people. A teabag, you pervert.

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Why did little Timmy start crying? Because he was shot.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 27

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A black man walks into a bar. His parents were immigrants from South Africa.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You're not that bad...you're still better at giving hand jobs than your dad is."

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How do you give Salley enough energy swim against the river current? Add your own electric current.

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What did the lonely old man get on valentines day? Nothing, because his wife died of cancer two years ago.

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What do you call a beagle and an eagle mixed together? A beagle.

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I pooped my pants

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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