Q: Why did the bird fall out of the tree? A: It was dead Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the bird

a jewish man walks down the street a hispanic man walks down the street a black man walks down the street an irish man walks down the street and into a pub

A African American male and a Mexican male are both in a car, who is driving? Most likely the owner or the car.

what's worse than getting a paper cut? Hiroshima

Why did the hipster burn his mouth? He ate the mac and cheese before it was cool.

What did the Muslim have under his hood of his car? A V-8 engine.

So a guy walks into a bar. He asks the woman next to him, ''Can I buy you a drink?'' The woman says,''No thank you.''

Ching Chong Chinaman is sitting on a wall. People make fun of his name because it is so unusual.

A Cheerio is at Cheerio high school, and there is another Cheerio that he wants to ask to the prom, but she is a frosted Cheerio and because of Cheerio social statuses she would not go with him. So he goes to the Cheerio factory so he can become a frosted Cheerio. The factory workers tell him that he can be a frosted Cheerio, but the machines are malfunctioning today and they can only frost half of him. He agrees, and the girl Cheerio goes to the prom with him. He shows up at the prom with her, and she asks him to get her some punch. So, he's walking around, looking for the punch line, when he realizes: There isn't any.

Q: How does a chicken get to work? A: A chicken does not go to work. Chickens can not legally be employed for any position in any country as they are chickens, are not human, and do not posses any prerequisites required to be hired for any existing employable position.

What's black and bleeding? Who cares?

A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

What did the man say to the drug dealer? I'd like some drugs

What type of ruler lies? A shatter resistant one

What's red ad looks like a green bucket? A red bucket to a color blind person

Why did the parrot fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

What's funnier than the world ending? Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder in a staring contest.

Why didn't the baby cry? It was stillborn.

What's the difference between a muffin and a scone? One's a muffin.

Why did the chicken sneeze? Because someone put pepper on its nose.

A man walks through a doorway but there was a door there so he got injured

Whats not green and cant pee? Not a pea!

An Irishman walks out of a bar

A man had a blue hat, a yellow hat and a red hat. This man has three hats.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...