I like my women like I like my coffee, without a dick

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Two bananas are walking down the street. One says, "Nice weather we're having, isn't it?" The other banana says, "Wait a minute, fruit can't talk." The second banana turns into a dove and promptly flies away.

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Dad: "Happy birthday, son! Let's go get a beer." Timmy: "But dad, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are, we hope that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake, we know it's not to be, that for the rest of our sad, wretched pathetic lives, this is who we are to the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably; happy birthday? No such thing.” Timmy's mom had just died of cancer a few days ago. A friend walks in the door, not knowing Timmy's mom died just a few short days before his birthday. He screams, "Happy birthday!" TImmy: "Damn. I'm not going through this again."

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why did the building fall down the terrorists came back

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How do you make a model ugly? you shoot her in the face.

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Why did the girl put on make-up and perfume? Because she was ugly and smelled bad.

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What do you call a homeless person with one leg? Rob.

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Why did the pedophile get arrested? He was driving way over the speed limit.

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Why can't men give birth? Because men do not not have the reproductive organs required to give life to a new born child.

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Don't you hate it when your reading a sentence and it doesn't end how you testicles.

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Why did the little girl fail her test? Because she had mental retardation.

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How do you make a builder sad? You shit on his bricks.

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why did the lesbians shop at modell's? because they thought the store had reasonable prices and considerable discounts

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Why did the cow have a pain in his stomach. It has testicular cancer.

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Bill: Whats 2 + 2? Joe: Your mom

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whats orange, nocturnal, and hurts to the touch? The sun or an orange owl... Depends on your preference

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Two muffins are in an oven. The oven is set to 425 degrees farenheit. The two muffins are taken out of the oven once cooked, and enjoyed by the couple who cooked them.

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Can Geico save save you 50% on your car insurance? Does a former drill sergent make a terrible therapist?

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What has one eye, three arms and one leg? A really weird person.

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Why did the man die? Because he was unpopular and someone killed him with a gun. He is now dead. RIP.

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why does one side of a v-flock of geese have more birds? Because it does.

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Why do those Indian people have that dot on their forehead ? Idk but it makes a good target.

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i like pie.

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Were did Suzie go after the bombing? A: everywere

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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