Q: What did the man do when he won the lottery? A: He kept it for himself and left his family.

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus

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i like pie.

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What's worse than stepping on chewing gum A clown throwing bricks at orphans

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Why is Santa fat? Because the apples are red.

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What did the African do when he found out he was constipated? He ate a laxative and went to the toilet

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What happend to the gay kid that walked into iran. He got shot and killed ????

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why can't helen keller drive? Because she is deaf and blind.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it can do whatever the hell it wants

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"Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains." "Well that sounds like a mental illness and I deal predominantly with physical ailments"

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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson? I thought you were dead.

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A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

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whats used in the kitchen and hurts like fuck? a cheese-grater dildo

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What did the black kid get for his birthday?

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What do a fish, a can of asparagus, a spool of thread, and a car tire have in common? Nothing.

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Knock knock Who's there? No one Cool

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How did the fat woman survive the car accident? She had on her seat belt.

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How many dead babies can fit in a dead horse 11

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Why couldn't little Jessica open the door? It was locked

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Knock Knock… Who is there? Orange. Orange Who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana? Actually I really wish you did, because I am Hypokalemic and am about to die you asshole.

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Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- *Commits Suicide*

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I now pronounce you man and lion. You may now kiss the pride.

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What's green has eight legs, and would kill you of it fell on you from the top of a tree? A Billiard table

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knock knock whos there? knock knock whos there knock knock you final decide to open the door to find a deaf man needing directions.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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