A dog walks into a saloon and says "I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw." The patrons are afraid of the talking dog.

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Why was the little boy upset? He was on fire.

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What did the Pope say to the old homeless man who asked him for a blessing? Hahaha, no I won't give you a blessing

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Why was Sally crying She got a high five In the face With a chair

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Why don't dinosaurs talk anymore? Because they're all dead, duh. :P

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if i had a nickel for every time iv typed an anti joke... i would have $0.15

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Who won the race across the highway, the Mexican or the Frenchman? Neither, as they were struck by a mac truck when attempting to run across the highway and were both killed instantly on impact.

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What's the difference between a baby and a mushroom? One is delicious, the other is a mushroom.

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Usually, the bad (anti) jokes are the ones that don't make you laugh. Sometimes you laugh "with" the joke, other times, you laugh at the joke itself because it is a paragon for human failure. The jokes on this website are not exempt from that rigid stipulation. However, it should be noted that all the "jokes" on this particular website are actually hilarious because of the latter reason delineated in the above paragraph. Additionally, this joke was created by a machine and thus the originator of this work is by no means able to learn from the process of trial and error and therfore can make myriad unfunny jokes without compromise.

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what are the three types of rings? -wedding ring -engagement ring -suffering

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What's worse than finding a worm in your Apple? Ebola

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Am I a cat? No, I am a human; cat's cannot type.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? This isn't a car

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What do you call a man with a spade in his head? An ambulance.

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Knock Knock! Come in!

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What did the man say to the really attractive woman? We are different genders

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Throw it off the top of the Empire State Building.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names

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How many Manatees does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, assuming Manatees have hands.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, its because your wearing a suit and on the front door it says no people in suits are allowed." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

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Two cows are standing on the top of North Pole and in a half-inch wind they're spanking a bottle of coconut jam. Suddenly two infrared gallopping fly past them. What's the consequence? That people shouldn't use freshly peeled lemoncakes on underwater cornfields.

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Roses are red, violetes are blue, Your monkey sucks.

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Mike tyson

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Why'd the boy fall off his bike? The holocaust

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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