Why did the pedophile get arrested? He was driving way over the speed limit.

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A fish finds that his fishbowl is on fire. He escapes the bowl only to realize he is equally screwed.

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Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb Mary had a little lamb and the doctor was surprised

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What was the last thing the clown said to his wife before she died? Rebecca, just stay with me, the ambulance is almost here.

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Why can't Helen Keller hear? She's dead

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What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because he was dead.

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If a tree falls on a woman and there's no one around to hear her scream why did a tree fall in the kitchen?

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What's the difference between a baby and a mushroom? One is delicious, the other is a mushroom.

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Why did the coconut fall out of the tree? Gravity.

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Usually, the bad (anti) jokes are the ones that don't make you laugh. Sometimes you laugh "with" the joke, other times, you laugh at the joke itself because it is a paragon for human failure. The jokes on this website are not exempt from that rigid stipulation. However, it should be noted that all the "jokes" on this particular website are actually hilarious because of the latter reason delineated in the above paragraph. Additionally, this joke was created by a machine and thus the originator of this work is by no means able to learn from the process of trial and error and therfore can make myriad unfunny jokes without compromise.

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Throw it off the top of the Empire State Building.

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Fun fact: If you took the skin of an average person and laid it flat you would have enough to get a pretty serious criminal conviction, amirite?

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I thought I was ugly But then I met you

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What's the difference between basketball and an elephant? One's a sport and one's a large African animal.

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wanna hear a joke? no.

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What's black and white and read all over? A zebra family that was just murdered by African poachers.

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Life gave me onions. Onionaide Sucks

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Did you hear about the Blonde who fell off a cliff You Have? Oh Ok, Have a nice day

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TEAM Together Everyone Argues More

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Doris was putting up Christmas lights when he noticed the bulb's suddenly came on. He was puzzled at first, as he hadn't plugged them in. He climbed down the ladder and found that it was his son, Robby who had plugged the lights in.

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away. What about the vampires?

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When we was Antarctica and it was cold we would huddles arounds a candles. What did we do when it was colder? We lit the candle,

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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