- I shot the sheriff! - You murderer

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national song of the mute person? 5 minutes of silence please

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What did the old lady say when she went to a restaurant? OH look at the price of this salad.

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A man walks into a bar, has a few drinks and spots a nice looking lady He then follows her home and molestes her child.

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What Does Alex J Simpsons Face have in Common with his hand? Spaghetti

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LeBron James hits a game winning three with time running out in the Finals.

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You are so gay you frequently, and consentingly are sodomized by men and frivolously enjoy it.

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What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord? My ass

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" So let's set the world on fire..." Q: How do you do that? A: Strike a match...

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Why did the man get off the bus? Penis

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What's tastier than a dead baby? An orphaned dead baby.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? What kind of society have we created that a chicken can't even cross a road without his motives being questioned?

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What's white and hides behind a tree? Shy milk.

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i hate anti-jokes ;)

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what did batman say to robin before getting into the car? get in the car.

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What's black, white and red all over? A zebra carcass

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Why does a squid have 8 legs? It doesn't, it has 8 tentacles!

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What's worse than getting a jigsaw puzzle for your birthday? Slavery

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Why did the man start crying? Because he lost his job.

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What did the polar bear say to the penguin? Nothing because polar bears lived in the northern hemisphere and penguins lived in the southern. But if one is smuggled from north to south or vice-versa. The polar would growl and consume the penguin.

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What did the cat say to another ? meow

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IF YOU ARE A GUY: Think about a really hot girl. She has the perfect chest, amazing face, blonde hair, and looks flat out stunning. She takes off her shirt which is very appealing and causes for you to get excited because you might get lucky. She takes off her pants, or skirt depending on the choice that you decided upon when imagining this girl, and is walking towards you in nothing but a bra and panties. She continues to take off her bra and gets on top of you. You passionately kiss and afterwords she whispers in your ear, "are you ready for some of this?" you nod your head and she proceeds to remove her panties. Let's freeze this situation for a moment. Assuming that you would ever be in a situation like that there has to be a catch right? A hidden camera, her husband comes home, a rabbid zombie crashes through the door...something. I am happy to tell you that there are no worries about this because nothing will stop you from making sweet and beautiful love to this woman. So let's get back to the scenario. You not your head and quickly tear off your clothes and begin exploring her body. Now turn her 64 and give her a penis with an amazing amount of pubic hair, make her fat, and submit to this manlady. You ask how this happened? Earlier that evening you took a particularly large amound of LSD, or acid if you prefer, and began tripping out. You began seeing ugly people as hot people, and hot people as ugly people. Your friends were concerned because you were hitting on a tree and started humping it at which you were removed from the party by your date who just so happened to be a fat and ugly hermaphrodite who repeatedly raped you and made you cry in submition to her kinky tactics. Drugs are bad, but they make for interesting stories for your friends to tell their children when they get older at your expense.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like pancakes Ouch! That hurt!

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Yo mommas so fat they had to change 'one size fits all' to 'one size fits most'

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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