Curiosity killed the cat! No, the tire of a vehicle did.

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How did the Joker get away? Because the Batmobile lost a wheel.

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How do you make your children nice? You dont have any.

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why was little jimmy sad? he had a frog stapled to his mouth why did little jimmy drop his ice cream cone? he got hit by a bus why did little jimmy fall of the swingset? he didnt have any arms what did little jimmy want for Christmas? parents what did he get for Christmas? cancer knock knock whos there? not jimmy

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Why did Mia fall off of Lucy's bike?.. She was 4 and hadn't learned how to ride a bike yet... Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead... Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?.. It was stapled to the first monkey... Why was Suzie angry?.. Her parents had only found one bike at the marketplace... Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?.. It thought it was a game... Why did the fridge fall out of the tree?.. It had no arms... Lucy fall off her bike?.. She was crushed by 3 monkeys and a fridge... There's 500 bricks on a plane and you throw one out, how many are left?.. 499 bricks... How do you get an elephant into a fridge?.. Open the fridge, take the elephant out, close the fridge... How do you get a deer into a fridge?.. Open the fridge, take the elephant out, close the fridge... The lion is celebrating his birthday and, being the king of the jungle, all the other animals were in attendance except for one... Why?.. The deer was in the fridge... Little Mia is looking for Lucy and comes across an alligator-infested river... How does she cross it?... She swam... The alligators are at the lion's party... She died anyways, though... What happened?.. A brick fell on her head... Why did Suzie fall off the swing?.. She was trampled by the elephant, who was in a hurry to get to the lion's party in time... Why did the ethologist couple commit suicide?.. Their 3 daughters there killed by a brick, an elephant and 3 dead monkeys followed by a fridge... Note: yeah not 100% original, i mixed some already existing jokes together... works better if you don't tell them all at once but sprinkle them in with lots of other unrelated jokes...

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"What do you call a man who has bumblebee wings and fire for blood?" (The doctor on the other line has no answer. Tom desperately weeps into the phone, trying to grasp his sudden transformation. He finds no reassurance, and hangs up the phone.)

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Three males walked into a bar. one of them was a kangaroo.

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nick biggs ate a car well his name is nick BIGGS

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at rhyming Refrigerator.

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What's worse than 1000 babies tied to a tree? 1 baby tied to 1000 trees.

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What is funnier then 25 9/11

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So I took this girl into my room we got in bed, We got under the covers and.... We had a rather delightful game of scrabble.

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What did the fat man do when someone told him he was fat? He kept eating, for he was deaf.

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Nicolas Cage

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why did the chicken cross the road??? I don't know, that's why I asked you -_-

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What bad thing could happen if you gave a black man a gun? ....stop expecting some racist punchline!

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What a gay guy get on his IQ test? 69

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What did the boy with no eyes get for Christmas? Glasses

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What's 6 + 9? 15.

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Making a good analogy is like making a chocolate sundae; either way there are simply no reindeer left, and the glass of water you once had is now gone.

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I tried to call my friend in Haiti. It went straight to vibrate.....

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Gary: How many sides does a triangle have? Juan: 2? Gary: Nope, it's 3, nice try

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squirrels with massive bonerss

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Q: What did one car say to another? A: Nothing. Cars can't speak.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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