- Anti Joke

Why did the cancer patient shave his head? He wanted to pretend he still had hair.

A man walks into a bar and says "hey, it's me!". Turns out that wasn't him.

what did the asain have for dinner? A: rice

THAT MAN EATS TOO MUCH. therefore he is overweight.

roses are red violets are blue oranges are......

Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

What did one hostage say to the other hostage? Hrmfhrmfphmfr

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because Osama Bin Laden is dead.

Why are Asians so good at mathematics? Practice.

What did the boy do when he struck out in his little league game? He was very upset and contemplated not playing the game anymore.

Me-Whats long and hard and full of seaman Him-a submarine Me-No dumb ass a dick

Why did the chicken cross the road? Cos it wanted to.

Why do everytime I go to toilet for number 2. I look into the toilet to see if this one's nicer than the last one.

your mom is so old, she is often confused for your grandmother.

how many times did lucy's mom drop her baby on its head? none, her mom died giving birth.....

shauns beautiful

Nicholas Salek did not write the message below. It was a joke one of his mates played!!

DIY LOLOBJECTIFACEPASSED OUT PHOTOSRATE MY EX GIRLFRIENDREPUBLICAN EQUALSSCUMBAG STEVE CHECK OUT OUR IPHONE APP! POPULAR NEWEST RANDOM WRITE YOUR OWN! Write Your Own It's easy to take part, just type your text below! Your Answer I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service Anti Joke What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline. The Anti Joke Book NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we’ve resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book! MOAR?? Want more? You might be interested in… Anti-Joke Chicken Anti-Joke Triceratops Download Our Free App! Hay guise, our iPhone app was just approved! Pictures From Our Other Sites OBJECTIFACE SHIT BRIX JAPAN IS WEIRD SPOILED PHOTOS RATE MY BATTLESTATION TATTOO FAILURE Quotes From Other Sites “Guy: Have you ever seen a rhinoceros? Girl:No. Why? Guy: So you don't have a mirror in your house?.” via: Anti-Pickup Line “On the GT (Between Hammond and Clarkson) Hammond: So with that, the Ford GT gets 75 miles per tank. Jeremy, how far is it to....” via: Clarksonisms “Flavorless jelly beans...” via: Pointless Inventions “the power to glow fainlty in broad daylight.” via: Pointless Super Powers “When I see a post on this site with a single downvote I start to feel guilty and give the person an upvote because I....” via: Things You Think Only You Do “Why did the blonde drown in the pool? Because a person tied an anvil to her leg and dropped it in the deep end of....” via: ethugtxt Anti-Pickup LineClarksonismsethugtxtPointless InventionsPointless Super Powers Feedback :: Advertising Inquiries :: Copyright :: Privacy :: Terms of Service ©2008-2011 Anti Joke. All rights reserved. A Horse Head Huffer Production. Rails Hosting provided by BlueBox

Two blondes were driving down the road. The blonde driving looks at her friend in the passenger seat and asks her to see if her blinker is working. So the blonde looks out the window and says, ''Yes. No. Yes. No.''

What do you do when jews take over your country? Invade Poland.

A Mexican and a Black man are in a car. Who's driving? The police officer.

Jesus said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But, John came fifth and won a toaster.

wow such mark very mark many mark so mark

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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