Why did the Mexican man jump to the floor? He had a stroke.

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Why don't elephants eat bananas? Because they don't have opposable thumbs.

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What's the worst part about being drunk? Your child.

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Why did the black man go to school? So he could graduate with a degree and persue his life in medicine. He later goes on to get his P.H.D. He now supports his healthy family of 5 and living in Idaho, the state of the potato. He has a job as a doctor and is making more than $2M a year. Ha, didn't expect that now did ya.

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american government

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What do you call a blind fish? Amblyopsidae.

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Knock, Knock Who's There A dyslexic kid with aides

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why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer left the gate open and chickens typically wonder with no obvious pattern to their movements.

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Person 1-How do you spell pulmonary embolism? Person 2-P-U-L-M-O-N-A-R-Y E-M-B-O-L-I-S-M. Person 1- Thanks. Person 2- Your Welcome.

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Q: What's up? A: Definitely not a plane, due to an unfortunate hijacking and terror bombing shortly after departure. There were no survivors.

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What did the retard say to the other retard? *(incoherent gibberish)*

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Explain the term 'Standard of Living'? Not having sex with diseased and obese women.

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You know what's funny? A bucket full of dead babies. Do you know what's funnier? The last one is still alive and crying.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because he was hungry and mcdonalds was across the street

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What did the duck get for Christmas. A potato. Not really it got nothing because it's a duck

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What did one baby say to the other? Nothing, they're both dead.

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Salad. It's green and so is The Hulk.

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What kind of jokes to dairy farmers tell? Corny jokes.

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Q: why do irish people like swimming A: because it's fun

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Patient: Doctor, I've been having a problem, I can't remember anything. Doctor: Do you think you might have amnesia, a common memory problem. Patient: What Problem?

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Jamie stegman is a masive idiot and does not have a life at all he is a tool which is true becuase no one likes him

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? The Batmobile only seats one, you'll have to take the bike Boy Wonder.

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Why did the world not end in 2012? Because the Mayans were drunks.

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What happens when you cross a dog and a cat? Something.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops