Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because he was dead.

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I was at the ocean, and I saw a screaming fish. Then it died.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is blind and is a women, who are notoriously bad drivers.

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Why didn't the woman cook dinner for her husband? She had to work late.

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What's there like a good neighbor? Your neighbor

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Why did the chicken kill himself? Because he was bullied as a child and is now suicidal

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How many fingers does Charlie Sheen have? 8. and 2 thumbs. just like most everybody else.

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What do you call a man with a cigar in his mouth. A person with bad health and dirty teeth.

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"You've got a lot of C in your body." said the doctor. Jimmy replied with glee: "Ah that's great news, vitamin C is.." "No you've got Hepatitis C, you'll be dead within a month."

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How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

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Man 1: WHAT THE HELL?!?! Man 2: There is no verb in that sentence

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Look at that bitches asss!!

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

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Why did the chicken eat fried chicken? Because fried chicken is so good! Kelvin Yang.

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Q:Why do people not live forever? A: Because they die dumbass.

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so there was two ducks in a bathtub. one duck says to the other duck, "hey, can you pass me the soap? the other duck says no.

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Twenty-Four

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Roses are red, violetes are blue, Your monkey sucks.

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An Irish man walks into his home and orders a drink.

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What do you call a guy with four heart chambers, two pairs of extremities, and an aortic arch? Anatomically normal.

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What is funny about a child with down syndrome? Nothing.

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What is the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench is an inanimate object whereas a black man is a human being with rights.

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Who likes to be fisted? Sock puppets.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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