What did the carrot say when it was thrown out of an airplane? Nothing. It's a carrot.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? he was epileptic

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How do you stop the unstoppable You dont

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Three women are on an airplane. One's a blonde, one's a redhead, and one's a brunette. Unfortunately, the plane was going to crash and there was nothing they could do but jump out and parachute to safety. So the captain said to each of the three ladies, "You can only take one of your possessions when you parachute out of the plane." The blonde says "I will take my watch becau--" But before she could finish her sentence the plane exploded because the flames on the wing had ignited the fuel tank. No one survived.

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What caused the Berlin Wall to come down? Gravity

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What has sand and an ocean? A picture of a beach.

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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What starts with F and ends with Uck? F U C K

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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A man goes into a bar. What are mangos doing in a bar?

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What happens when you lose your fish? It dies.

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what happened to the boy that walked down the street he got hit by a falling street light

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Two muffins are in an oven. The oven is set to 425 degrees farenheit. The two muffins are taken out of the oven once cooked, and enjoyed by the couple who cooked them.

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No really, try this: You: Say "knock, knock" Your friend: OK, knock knock You: Who's there? Your friend: ...... [this awkward pause makes evident the fact that it has now dawned on your friend that he has to generate content for a joke that he wasn't telling in the first place]

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What did the hooker say to her employer after 1 hour....you owe my $20

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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I have Alzheimer. What?

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at poems show me your boobs

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it can do whatever the hell it wants

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Knock Knock Who's there? Eat a dick you sh!t fukk! I'm going have to ask you leave now,

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What did the virgin get for her birthday? Aids

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After the haitian revolution, Haiti lived happily ever after, Until god smited them with a devastating natural disaster

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.

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Who would win in a fight between a polar bear and a tiger? Considering that they live in different habitats, the chances are very unlikely that they would ever interact.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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