What's the difference between a turtle and a fish? Turtles aren't fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

call me a bitch You're a bitch Only bitches do what they are told!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How are contortionists so flexible? They stretch.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

thumb_up thumb_down -4

yo momma's so fat she sat on a tiny chair and relaxed.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

If you stretch all your skin out in a line, you will die of blood loss or possible infection

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why are black people so good at basketball? Hard work and dedication.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the cat explode on the street? Cause i put a grenade in a fridge and then threw it at it.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's inside that man's house? Atoms.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

redtube

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Pee Pee bleekkka klup look? fupapapapapapapapap

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock,knock whose there? The pizza delivery guy the pizza delivery guy who the pizza delivery guy who didnt give you your pizza

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A jew walks into a bar.... He has a beer and then goes home to his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's something 9/10 people enjoy? A gang rape.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's worse than losing something? Dieing.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the chicken cross the road To get to your house Knock knock: whos there? The chicken duh

thumb_up thumb_down -6

a little boy goes down stairs on xmas day he has three presents the first one was a pair of socks the second one was a football and the third one was shin pads the boy was now crying really loud santa is outside laughing why? the boy has no legs

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why i'm breathing? I don't want die.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did osama bin laden cross the road? To commit suicide

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Roses are red, violets are blue. Cassidy's a whore so open the door.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Text me back when you can. I can't, my fingers got amputated.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Fitzsimmons. We met at your wife's work party.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops