what worse than a worm in your apple being kidnapped by hores and eaten alive by rabbits

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What do you call a kid with cancer? screwed

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Gary: How many sides does a triangle have? Juan: 2? Gary: Nope, it's 3, nice try

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How many Jews does it take to fix a light bulb? Four, one to take the light bulb out, one to put a new in, one to hold the ladder, and one to hold the guy holding the ladder

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If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Digress

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How do you make a Jew cry? You kill all of their friends and family members.

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What do giant panda bears eat? giant bamboo

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Why did the little boy cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken

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Hey I just met you And I am crazy So I will kill you And eat your body

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If you like this song so much why don't you marry it? Because a divorce would be tough on the kids

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You so dumb that you weighed 100 pounds and ate a peanut and weighed 500 pounds!

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An Englishman, Irishman, and Jew walk into a bar. Steven Spielberg is a Jew.

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Pff, "Axel", you are a fucking amateur, I can convey your fucking message in two lines, and one and a half of those lines would be fucking swearing and insults. I am done with the fucking underground society, it used to be a great place for people to discuss real world matters rather than be blinded by the fucking lies of the media, and yes religion, if you ever worked for me, you know that the fucking bible is a textbook example of every goddamn brain washing technique there is. But if you where ever my allumni, id expect you to use those methods sparringly and only when neccesary. No wonder people consider you a fucking cultist, you use your fucking methods as smoke and mirrors rather than letting "your people" know, and teach them that you just use a bunch of verbal tricks. Mental-ism is not magic, and neither should it be implied to be part of the surreal, while I respect your ideology, you have misused it to acquire power and wealth from those you claim to protect, and while you do convey some good ideals, you are far too arrogant and ignorant for the role you have given yourself. Besides, even if you could protect "your people" as you claim you can, who the fuck is supposed to protect the rest from them?! That is some hard core methods you are abusing "Axel", and you know it, if you claim to be anti religion, then stop using the very same methods they do without teaching people how the methods work first! Moral: Never underestimate me, I enjoy behaving like a jackass, but it does not mean that I am one, as for you, you are a jackass which likes behaving like someone worthy of respect. I am still at the fucking hospital, so if you want some guidelines, speak here, and if you cant send me your contact information so we can chat on a proper phone, I will only have to assume that you are either a coward for not revealing your location to an obviously superior man ...Or... ...that... ...you... Are a fucking coward little bitch that simply keeps on hiding behind the people he claims to protect and shield! Start by admitting that I am far beyond your puny knowledge, and I might throw in a few lines of assistance. Moral 2: You are fucking using horse head network as we speak! I use it for bullshit and "iron manning", you shame the remains of the underground society for using it as means of "encoded messages" and at all!

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Why did the chicken lay an egg? Because she got knocked up.

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What happened to the village that got swept by a tsunami? It was destroyed.

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What's big and hairy my penis just kidding It's Bigfoot

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who likes fried chicken? almost everyone because fried chicken is delicious

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it depressed me to be diagnosed with depression

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What's black and red and can go through time. I don't know but you have cancer and are going to die very soon.

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Why did ned fall out of the tree? Because he was hit by a koala.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? He didnt.

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Your mom is so fat, She should go to a doctor because her cholesterol is abnormally high.

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Yo momma so lazy she hasn't been to work in weeks and you no longer have electricity or food.

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What' do you call a fart in a box? Your mom's puzsy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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