Why did the dog have 2 legs? he got cut in half.

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How do you keep an idiot busy? Why would you wanna keep an idiot busy, it's not gonna make a difference...

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Yo momma so fat, people snicker as they walk past her, quietly laughing at a women obviously struggling with obesity. They then proceed to stop laughing, as they realize that their mother died from diabetes. They then proceed to move on with their day.

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Knock Knock Who's there? I bought a Jeep

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Why did carly drop her groceries Carly is a cow

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Life is an elephant, get married.

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What's Mary short for? She's got no legs.

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Why did the man wear a blue shirt? He didn't. He wore a green one.

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Why didn't the blonde make it in a gun circle? The blonde yelled "Fire"

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we all know sammi has a penis

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Why couldnt the kid see the pirate movie? Because he didn't have eyes.

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What would you do for a klondike bar? I'm allergic to milk.

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knock knock who's there? It's Jim we haven't seen each other since college Why hello there come on in

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How do you stop moles from digging in your garden? Take the shuvel away.

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A blonde walks into an electronics store to buy a toaster, the shopkeeper tells her that they do not serve blondes. She sues for discrimination and receives a considerable cash settlement while the shopkeeper looses his store and reluctantly works at a fast food franchise.

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What was so special about Anne Frank's diary? Nothing. ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers The middle one is for you

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What did the watermelon say to the apple? Nothing. Watermelons are fruits and incapable of speech.

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what did one muffin say to the other in the oven? Nothing because they were both baked at 500 degrees and died

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Whats worse than having aids...... Being in school

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A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a dead moose, In my basement.

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There women are stuck on an island, a blonde, a brunette and a ranga. They are saved days later.

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"Spell 'horse'" "H-O-U-Z-E" "No, that's incorrect. You failed the spelling test, you stupid fool."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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