A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Why did Frank go to the doctor? He had a bad case of the ebeyjeebes.

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Two dinosaurs go to a theme park. On the way home they contemplate that they didn't really enjoy themselves. They decide to buy some ice cream to cheer them up a bit. They are severely frustrated by the lack of fun they had for the money they paid. Then they go to sleep. I completely forgot how this joke went, but your mom's a slut.

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If life gives you lemons ask where they came from.

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? gang rape

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Wy did the chicken?

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What do you call a middle-aged man at a preschool? A teacher.

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why did sally fall off the swing? because she had no arms. knock knock? who's there? not sally.

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An Englishman, and Irishman, and a Scottsman walk into a bar and the bartender says, "Is this some kind of a joke?"

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A priest and a prostitute are sitting next to each other on a bus. The priest asks her what she does, and she says "I sell my body to strange men." The priest then explains to her about Christianity, and she gives up her ways and becomes a devout Christian.

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How long did it take azaha to have a shit? Nine months

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What did the 5 cent store clerk say to the customer? That will be 5 cents.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it noticed that there may be foodstuffs on other side.

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Why are children like books? They are highly flammable if covered in gasoline.

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What's small and red that sits in a corner? A baby with a razor blade.

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Why was the kindergarten teacher crying? a child had just choked to death

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Why did the cat fall out of the tree? Cause the branch broke. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? Cause it was stapled to the cat.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kidnap his family.

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religion.

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Q: Why don't Jewish cannibals like Germans A: Because it gives them gas

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Whats fleash color flesh color and fleash color? a hodo rolling down a hill.

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have you tasted chocolate flavoured slurpee? no. i haven't either

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? I don't know it depends on how hard you throw them.

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good one jess !!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops