Two fish were in a tank one said...."ill drive!"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A squirrel and an owl are sitting in a tree. A farmers walks by underneath, and the squirrel turns to the owl and says nothing, because squirrels can't talk and neither can owls. Then the owl eats the squirrel because it is a bird of prey.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Two drums and a cymbol fall off a cliff... ba bum BUM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA it used to be ba dum ching but im so funny that i changed it to ba dum bum. credit to Alex H

thumb_up thumb_down +6

The man who invented the teleprompter has died at the age of 91. When President Obama heard the news, he was speechless.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is the difference between your mom and a cow? One is a 1,500 pound beast, and one is a human being.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What happened when the cow jumped over the barbed wire fence? Hopefully it made it over without lacerating its underbelly, thus causing fatal bleeding.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Hey i just met you and this is crazy, but heres my penis, so suck it baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

raping black women

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why did the pinapple walk the plank? to eat a cat because cheese say people!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

modern love

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: What did one car say to another? A: Nothing. Cars can't speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I'm innocent its all Taggart he's the one instigating.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do the words lightbulb and lightweight have in common? The word light is in both words. Other than that absolutely nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why did the dog jump into the pool? because the cat was chasing him

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk? A man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What time is it when grandpa sits ontop of a telephone pole and throws pineapples at people? Time to go to a nursing home

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q. What does McDonald's and Michael Jackson have in common? A. They both stick their meat in 13 year old buns.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you get a dog off of your roof? Shoot it.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I can't remember if I have Azheimer's or not.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did one ocean say to the other ocean, nothing it just waved

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse thus lacking cognitive capacity to speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and promptly shits on the floor then gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man violently raped a small child. Unfortunately the child had aids and gave them to the man.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What does a gay horse eat? HEEEEEEYYYYYY!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the kid fall off the swing? He had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops