knock knock zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz knock knock zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz knock kock ding dong ding di-ding dong zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz sigh weeeeeeeeeewooooooooooooooooo zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz hey yo wake up zzz-oh-huh-what-whos there i've been yelling for like five minutes oh sorry jim will you let me in already all right

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Why was the white man rich and the black man poor? Because when the white man was 11 and he didn't have a job because 11 year olds don't get hired, because its not legal, he use to pick up pennies. And when the black man was 11 he got a job mowing lawns and ended up being a lawyer graduate and spent the rest of his life paying off his school loan. The white man lived in the 70's and the black man lived in he twentieth century.

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how many alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb? usually one but depending on the severity of the patients' case the lightbulb will be changed by a person who is willing to offer their assistance as to prevent any form of accident taking place.

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i jack off in the school bathroom #yolo -toby limbers

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your mums so fat she has to use a matress as a tampon

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Why did the virgin jerk until his hand was raw? He didn't have lotion.

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Your time.

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How do you baby sit a black child? Entertain him with stimulating games to help with his cognitive growth.

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A Jewish guy walked into a bar... and said "ow"

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Chuck Norris doesn't do pushups, his personal trainer designed a regiment for him that didn't involve them.

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Why did the woman start crying? She didn't have woman's rights... That's right, get back in the kitchen

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a guy jumped out of a plane...he died

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How do 5 gay teenagers walk? In 'One Direction"

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why do woman travel in packs? because men don't travel like the sisterhood in the traveling pants

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What's worse than dropping you ice-cream cone? Signing your post on Anti-joke.com

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Your MUM has aids :D LOL

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what is 6 + 8 a math equation

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How do you keep a puppy warm? You throw it in the fire...

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They took away privileges that she normally would have had had she not misbehaved.

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A muslim gets on a plane. He is then flown to his destination.

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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Whats worse than an offended chicken walking around with a squirrel stapled to its back? A crusty old man with hepatitis peeing on 10 babies.

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Why was the skeleton afraid to cross the road? He wasn't, and in fact was entirely unaware that said road existed given the fact that he was deceased; and therefore lacked any sensory organs and motor functions associated with crossing roads.

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Knock Knock It's the police, im afraid your wife has been killed in a horrible car accident.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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